Thursday, November 8, 2012

Surviving Treatments

I found myself once again in a situation where I must convert out of a normal way of viewing things into a more "healing mode". I realized this could be helpful to people who have been well all their lives to learn about, so they don't just die the first time something serious happens to them.

First of all, I find it is best if I can let go of anything I'm angry about in my life and psychologically at least prepare for death. (In order to make sure I have made peace with my maker if I don't survive whatever treatments I must endure).

The first thing that is helpful is to have a medical advocate. In my case this is covered by my very intelligent and resourceful wife. This then allows me to enter a different state of consciousness that is more conducive to changes as well as healing.

One of the things to consider is that any medications that are new to you that you haven't taken before may have multiple side effects so when you are taking multiple new medications you might get strange or pass out or you might even die. So, being prepared for your world to be shaken is important.

I remember being put on too high a dose of Lisinopril for my heart virus after I got over it. But my doctor wanted me to take it for a few months once again. My body hadn't taken it in a year or two and so he started me out where I used to be. But this was too high to start out again because I had to get used to it again. This is an ace inhibitor which thins the blood and allows the heart to pump blood easier. But you don't want to get cut while taking it because you can't stop bleeding if you do. So, the dose basically made me have to lie down because I was too lightheaded to walk or even barely to talk. Luckily, I was able to tell my wife what was wrong barely so I just lay in my hallway for about 5 hours until this too high a dose wore off and I could talk and get up and speak normally once again.

Whenever you start new medications or start new treatments these things can happen without warning. So, look carefully at your medications to make sure they are what you are supposed to be taking and look to see what they potential side effects are and whether you can drive or even be in public while taking them without injury or fainting.

Usually, on any new medication you might have to take it is good to give yourself at least a week to see if you can survive physically and psychologically being on whatever it is.

For example, I was given Beta Blockers which took away my intuition completely for 2 weeks and I basically told my wife to shoot me it was so bad. Then the doctor was angry at me for not telling him so he could change my medication. So, in some ways you can't win.

I have had the luxury now for over 10 years time to not have to take ANY medications most of the time except for Thyroid medication for a hypothyroid condition that I get from Canada by prescription. But now, the doctor wants to strengthen my heart because it isn't pumping blood strong enough so he is putting me on 3 medications at once. One is bad enough but I know that 3  could be a problem especially if they interact. And on top of that since I wasn't sent to doctors growing up almost at all. I haven't taken even aspirin or pain killers or cold medicine 90 percent of my life so I'm very sensitive to medications not having used them 90% of my life.

So, what I do is to go into a sort of alternate state of consciousness to deal with all this. You can't stay angry and do very well. So, what I do is to go into a state where you are preparing at least psychologically for death much like a soldier might do when going into battle. So, this way no matter what happens you can maintain a useful focus and not get thrown off by being too emotional in not useful ways. It is good to have feelings but in this new state of consciousness everything feels different. It is like being in a perfectly controlled state of shock so things don't affect you in a normal way. You are doing this so you are more likely to survive whatever comes without freaking out in reaction to something or freaking yourself out accidentally and causing yourself more problems. So, this is a physical survival strategy based upon realizing psychologically you must change a lot to survive what you are going to go through. So, whether it is a physical procedure or changes in medicines or whatever you have to do you are in a state conducive to physical survival ongoing.

Also, having psychologically prepared for your death you are prepared for absolutely whatever comes.

So, you are physically and psychologically and spiritually prepared for whatever comes. It doesn't mean it's easy, it just means you are a full adult about your life.

Note: One of the strange but true things I learned about today is that getting a rash that feels sort of like poison oak is now normal from the new goop they use to do sonograms of heart or carotid arteries and such. Though they can see everything better it is less healthy for the patient so a rash now is normal. If you get a rash where your sonogram was (I got mine about 4 days to a week later) I thought I had gotten poison oak from my dogs walking in the woods. But learned today, "No. It's a normal physical reaction to the sonogram goop."( By Goop in case you don't know what I'm talking about is a blue goo type of gel that is medium used to transmit and receive sound waves through your body and organs by the sonogram devices. So, if you haven't seen this stuff imagine a thinner slightly more watery Vasoline colored blue without the Vasoline smell)

2nd note: Those of you who have used alcohol to cope must also realize this won't work. With most serious medications you might be taking in more serious situations drinking alcohol at all might kill or maim you or you might pass out. This happened to my father in law when he was alive. It injured his live in caregiver when she tried to catch him when he fell and so she is permanently injured and cannot work in her field again because of her serious back injury. So, though she can  still walk again she is pain almost constantly. So be aware of that you can't drink alcohol at all with most of these medications.

Next morning: My first night of going on 3 medications at once (2 I had never taken before) did not go smoothly for me. My wife brought me the medicines to take and I said, "I think this one medicine is in too high a dose." She said, "The doctor said that this is the dose you need to repair your heart." So I said, "I'm worried I might pass out at this dose." She said, "Get in bed and lie down in case you pass out." I said, "That's stupid. I want to know if something is causing me to pass out so you can call me an ambulance." So, I got up and went into the living room to watch TV even though I was tired from all the changes that day. I began to notice that the ringing in my ears was more pronounced like it gets when I'm taking prinivil (a version of lisinopril which is the generic name). I was also taking a  new modern beta blocker which doesn't hit your brain and make you feel lobotomized but only helps your heart. Also, this morning I have to take a diuretic which will also reduce stress on my heart so it can rebuild itself. So, I hope that doesn't interact with my thyroid medicine, the ace inhibitor, and the beta blocker in any negative way. Also, while I was sitting watching TV I began to remember that it wasn't the first day on the higher dose of Prinivil that I passed out it was somewhere between the 3rd to 5th day so I wasn't as worried because of this then. Since this was more than 10 years ago since I had taken prinivil last it was a little hard to remember. Then I started to get adjusted and outside of experiencing some halucinations from the medicines most of the effects so far are good ones. Also, I noticed when I returned to bed several hours later that I could feel the bottoms of my feet which I usually can't. I wear Crocs to massage my feet while walking normally to keep as much feeling in the bottoms of my feet during the day so I don't sprain my ankles while walking. The biggest thing I have learned since yesterday was I don't really have a circulation problem as much as I have an ongoing pumping problem with my heart. This really changes my perception (in an extremely good way in regard to understanding better my ongoing health and what kind of treatments I need to maintain good health so I choose to stay alive.




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