Discovering that a friend, family member, or colleague has been accused of sexual misconduct can be so jarring, it's almost akin to experiencing the death of a loved one, experts say.
In the wake of the #MeToo movement, many across the country are speaking publicly about sexual harassment, shining a light on unacceptable behavior from individuals who may in other circumstances be beloved members of their communities.
Image: Demonstrators participate in the #MeToo march in response to high-profile sexual harassment scandals
Demonstrators participate in the #MeToo march in response to high-profile sexual harassment scandals on Nov. 12, 2017 in Los Angeles. David McNew / Getty Images file
Their words not only impact the perpetrators, but also have a ripple effect on the perpetrators' social circles. Psychologists say it's normal for friends, relatives and co-workers to struggle with learning about misconduct that is incongruous with their perception of an individual otherwise admired or respected.
"Initially there's a denial of not believing this could be true, or trying to potentially make excuses, and slowly moving through it, they find out more, and try to figure out what exactly happened," said Dr. Sheela Raja, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago who wrote a book called "Overcoming Trauma and PTSD." She compared it to the stages of grief experienced after a death.
The challenge, Raja added, is that when someone we love does something deplorable, it goes against our inclination to categorize people as "completely good or completely bad."
"People have many aspects to themselves. Often times, we don't know about something that somebody has done," she said. "There are people that do really good things in one area, but can abuse their power with something else."
Related: Here’s a growing list of men accused of sexual misconduct
In one of the most recent examples of men accused of sexual wrongdoing, nine women alleged famed playwright Israel Horovitz had harassed or assaulted them. The allegations were first reported by The New York Times earlier this week.
His son, Adam Horovitz of The Beastie Boys, told the Times in a statement: "I believe the allegations against my father are true, and I stand behind the women that made them."
A spokesman for the younger Horovitz told NBC News he would not be commenting further on his father. While more details about his relationship with his father weren't clear, experts say in these cases — whether it involves a family member or a trusted colleague — working through dueling emotions can be painful and difficult.
"It's a mourning process," said Samantha Manewitz, a licensed social worker and sex therapist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, who specializes in sexual trauma, said. "Here is a person who you trust. Now you have to square this with this alternative narrative of this person."