Many people are selfish enough to be natural survivors but this wasn't me. Unless I had a reason to do something I found I just wouldn't do anything at all and this was moving me towards extinction in my early 20s. So, I didn't really care if I survived or not.
Once I realized this problem fully I realized that unless life made more sense than it did at the time I was likely going to die by age 25.
Life without meaning for me meant I wouldn't be alive at all.
Some people you can say to: "Jump" and they will ask "How High?"
If someone said "Jump" to me my internal response likely would be: "F--- Y--"
So, people ordering me around was meaningless unless I found it useful somehow.
If it wasn't useful in some logical reasonable way I just wasn't going to do it at all.
So, in order to stay alive whatever I did had to have some real and lasting meaning.
For me, this meaning came from becoming a father and getting married.
This I could understand.
This made sense to me.
Just taking care of myself made no sense to me at all.
But, taking care of other people that I loved made all the sense in the world.
So, a reason to stay alive was born in me which has brought me to now when I'm 73 years old.
By God's Grace
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