It is difficult to show kindness to others if you don't show it to yourself first

 So, demonstrating kindness to oneself so one feels kind towards others too is one of the keys to enlightenment.

However, without integrity (Self Respect) in one's actions towards oneself and others it is difficult to show kindness to anyone.

So, many times one must start with integrity if possible in one's practice of kindness towards oneself and others.

Peace comes from integrity and kindness towards oneself and all others.