Writing

 For me, Writing is Self Healing and tends to heal the traumas in my life and always has been this way since my 16 year old cousin died by breaking his neck driving a car into a building ( a house) with friends recently after getting his driver's license. I was 8 years old when this happened and he was 16. I felt very vulnerable as an only child not allowed to be consoled about this even though I didn't know this cousin very well this was very traumatic for an 8 year old to experience this.

So, because I didn't have any siblings and because my parents didn't really understand basic psychology which was true of literally everyone's parents I knew of in the 1950s. So, I faced death alone as an 8 year old without being counseled at all about my cousins death. This was pretty normal in the 1950s. I was 8 in 1956 so this likely is when he died.

As a way to comfort myself I wrote in a spiral notebook from school and doodled little drawings. even then I was attracted to simple flying saucer shapes and lions and bears and animals that interested me and just random doodling drawings. This comforted me. 

Also, I was really into funny papers from newspapers and comic books in general.

I loved to laugh and humor was very wide open then in various different ways and much different than now.

So, through writing whether it was lyrics for songs and writing songs that I began to do during my teen years or writing poetry or prose starting more in my 30s with writing about Arcane it was something I always found I was good at. It also helped heal me and helped me to understand myself and people around me much better so I have continued writing to better understand myself and the world around me and to share ideas that have become my personal religion in some ways.

I have always found that literally no one really believes all the tenants of ANY religion they are raised in. I find that most people use religion as a way to make money off of the people in their church and often don't even believe in God. So, most things about church are about money or meeting people in church to date or to associate with and not really about what people actually believe anyway.

Actually, I was very distressed to realize this about most church goers as a young adult and this hypocrisy was one of the reasons why I eventually left all churches because if I'm going to believe in something I want to do it wholeheartedly and not in some half assed way like most people.

I was counseled by fellow young people to lie about everything in my life in order to stay in my church by the way. Though I understood their position I could not live that lie like they did and still do often.

As a result I can live with myself ongoing and I have my values and beliefs and my personal integrity ongoing.

By God's Grace