It Takes a lot of courage to stay alive through difficult times

 There were two periods that were difficult to choose to stay alive through.

The first period was from ages 10 to 15 because of a concussion that caused me seizures sometimes at night. Though I thought I was going to die then because doctors didn't understand this well then eventually I outgrew this as my cranium grew and released the concussive effects of the blow upon my skull and brain. So, by 15 I was okay again and never had a seizure ever again just by asking God to come live in my body with me this changed my life a lot in every way.

The 2nd time I was at risk of exiting my body was more psychological and from all the many changes I was going through from a breakup because my girlfriend was religious and wanted to be celibate and married to me. Since I wanted to have children and be a father this wasn't going to work for me so I broke up with her. People often say: "Well. she might have changed over the years."

My answer would be: "I took what she said at face value and honored her decision as a woman". So, in honoring her I also honored myself and respected myself and my wishes as well. and then I also left my childhood religion which had taught her to be celibate in the first place. Were all these things related? Likely on some level but I was about 21 years old then in 1969 about when the Astronauts landed on the moon.

However, the aftermath of all of this left me sort of suicidal from ages 21 to 25 because all my plans in life became ridiculous to me and so I became ridiculous to me too. So, why go on living?

So, though I wanted to be dead I had seen what suicide had done to other families and I developed the courage to stay alive for my family and friends because I had seen the chain reactions of suicides in other families sometimes almost wiping whole families out in grief.

So, I soldiered on wanting to be dead but choosing to stay alive for my family and friends. 

This likely was one of the best decisions I ever made in life because otherwise I would have missed a really really really amazing and adventurous life which i have led especially since my 30s worldwide. 

Though I wound up being married three times I presently have been married to the same person since I was 46 for the last 30 years so far. So, what I'm saying here is that it takes great courage to stay alive when everything seems to be going wrong in your life.

However, for choosing to stay alive God has given me an amazingly wonderful life, especially after I turned 30 years old life has been a constant blessing of family and children and businesses and world travel and meeting amazing people from all over the world.

It takes a lot of courage to stay alive through difficult times but for me I'm so glad I chose to stay alive and live the really amazing life I had lived. Especially after age 30.

By God's Grace