Staying alive through a close relative or friends passing is sometimes very difficult

 In my own life when my father passed away I was 37 years old and I found in some ways my whole way of looking at the world and my life collapsed.

Part of the reason for this was not only did I lose my father but in some ways I lost my mother too when my father passed away. I wasn't prepared for this at all. Also, the house my father and I had built from 1968 to 1980 was also lost in all of this too because my mother didn't get anymore my father's social security so her income dropped a lot outside of any savings that they had when he passed away.

At first, I thought maybe I could keep the house my father and I built but then realized the problem which was that this house though once paid for completely had been mortgaged in a bad way by the bank when my father borrowed money on the house for a 35 foot motor home ( a Winnebago) and to add what he called "The Tower room" where you could see in every direction up to 35 to 50 miles away across the flat desert landscape there. However, the bank loan sales officer had wrongly estimated the actual value of the house and land to the point where there was even no way to sell the property so my mother could even break even. So, we had to let the house my father and I actually built for their retirement go back to the bank so they could resell it. This was pretty awful too.

So, my mother went back to who she was between ages 18 and 27 when she married my father and I was sort of left Motherless and Fatherless at age 37 which because of the closeness of the family was an emotional loss for both me and my mother which was extreme.

This over time caused my divorce from my then wife which was unfortunate for everyone involved just like in most divorces (everyone loses) in most divorces. No one actually wins.

So, don't underestimate when a close relative passes on because my life was very difficult from the time my father passed on in 1985 until I almost died myself in 1998 and 1999. However, by the Grace of God my life has been mostly wonderful since I was forced to retire by my health in 1998 in the fall. Doctors told me if I didn't retire I would die so I retired in Fall of 1998 at age 50.

So, like I said don't underestimate what losing a loved one can do to your life.