Happiness is . . .

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090516/sc_livescience/happinessisbeingoldmaleandrepublican

I think happiness doesn't have to do with political party. I think it has to do with being pragmatic and compassionate and adaptable.

The most miserable time in my life was my 20s. Just too many unrealistic expectations. My childhood was pretty good which is why my 20s were so awful. I've met many people who had a terrible childhood and then had a really great time in their 20s but often these people were dead by their thirties or their lives were a mess. So, just because your 20s are great doesn't mean anything about the rest of your lives.

I spent(after being excommunicated from my childhood church and breaking up with a girlfriend that I intended to marry because I loved her) in a state of near suicide for 2 couple of years between age 21 to 23. I call my 20s "The Agony and the Ecstasy". The Ecstasy because I had many girlfriends and the agony because of all the changes in my life during my 20s.

The single happiest moment during my 20s was delivering my son at home with my wife when I was 26 and she was about 23. This was the high point of my 20s and at this moment more than any other I said to myself, "I can't kill myself now because I have to stay alive for him." And so I did. The first thing I stopped doing was Rock climbing. Within 2 years one friend had died free climbing in Castle Crags and one had pulled a 9 pin piton zipper in Yosemite and almost died. I knew I had made a good choice to stop rock climbing.

The first really happy period of my adult life was between 1979 and 1985. I look back upon this time as when I got to fully live my dreams to the point that by 1986 I had lived all my dreams, My Dad just died and I couldn't figure out any reason to go on living except to raise my kids into adulthood. I would say that 1986 until I almost died in 1998 it was very difficult to want to be alive for me. I wasn't suicidal because I was mature, I just didn't really want to be alive because my youth had slipped away from me and I didn't see the point of being alive anymore except for my kids.

Then when I almost died in 1998 I had to retire. I had had a different kind of experience when I fell ill. Angels came to me so I thought they had come for me and that I was dying. But they had come to tell me I wasn't going to die and that my life would get better. After listening to my doctors tell me that they thought I might die for about 7 months they told me they had figured out finally through the process of elimination that I had had a heart virus and that I could once again live a long time since my heart had healed itself. So I went from thinking I would die to thinking I might live to 80 or more years old. Then in 2006 I believe I found out that I needed to be taking thyroid medicine. So I started taking Armour Thyroid daily and I now feel like I'm 30, just with a few more aches and pains. So, now I'm happy because I have a good wife and a kind, lovely intelligent 13 year old daughter and I'm 61 and retired. Finances aren't a problem. The only real problem is that my wife and I both lost our last parent in the last 12 months and that is really hard to take for both of us. We, literally are the patriarch and matriarch of our families.

On top of that I also lost my favorite Aunt(Dad's sister) and one of my favorite female cousins. This was a lot to deal with as well.

But generally, life is good. I'm retired. My health is okay. I can ride a bicycle and we have about 4 or 5 of them. I have a motorcycle now and this is nice too. I live where there is no smog on the Northern California Coast 1 mile from the ocean and there is a good little beach to go watch the sunset 1 mile away. I hear the sea lions almost every night along with the waves crashing and the climate is mild from being right next to the Pacific Ocean(lowest temperature in the last 10 years was about 37).
The average daily temperature year around is about 60(not bad) average night temperature is about 50. The temperature never goes above 90 to 95 or it brings the fog in so there is no need for air conditioning ever. So the biggest problem is the high fog all summer long. I've never gotten used to an overcast summer because I was raised in Los Angeles County, California in the suburbs with full smog and temperatures that can raise as high as 115 degrees Fahrenheit.

So, Am I happy? I'm about as consistently happy as I have ever been in my life. I miss living in the mountains where I skied all winter and hiked and swam in the summer and raised my older kids until the oldest was 12 there. But then again I'm 61 and not in my 30s anymore. So, is life perfect? No. But it's okay. No smog. No temperatures above 95. No temperatures below 37. Beautiful scenery, a good wife and daughter. Good grown kids. Travel when we want to or need to. Life is good.

Was it always this way? No. But it's okay right now.