I've been told that the act of forgiveness frees the person doing the forgiveness from harboring dark, and ultimately self destructive emotions. While there is no guarantee that the transgressor will be relieved of shame and guilt, the forgiver will always feel better. In other words, forgiveness is, first and foremost, self-serving. Now I am all about self-serving, so for the last few years I have been practicing a sort of forgiveness mantra. Upon awakening and before retiring, I visualize those who have harmed me and imagine myself flowing love and compassion toward them. Additionally, I wish for them to have everything they could possibly want. I'm happy to report that it's working. Slowly, over time, anger has become resentment has become indifference has become amusement has become affection. And now I'm free and my heart is full.
You believe me?
Do I believe me?
end quote from: Season 7 episode 10 "The Discovery dissipation" of "The Big Bang Theory".
As I read this I thought his efforts at retraining his subconscious mind and thereby increasing his physical and mental health was wonderful. However, over the years I have done things like this and often my problem is different than his. My problem is: If someone harms me I can often forgive them but if someone harms my children whether they meant to harm them or not I have a lot of trouble completely forgiving them. Also, if someone harms you and might harm you again isn't it impractical to not be on guard in regard to them in the future? Though you might forgive them, forgetting the harm they did is only idiot compassion. You should be prepared either to defend yourself or to be so far away you will never see them again. One or the other.
So, forgiveness is one thing but being stupid through idiot compassion is another. Forgiveness is important but so is survival both emotional and physical.
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