20 Years

I have been dating or married to my present wife now 20 years which is a long time. And looking back now I have been married to someone most years now since 1974 except maybe 2 or 3 when I was a single father. He is now 40 and working as a teacher and has a bachelor of Science degree.

Before I married my present wife I had moved about 50 times in my life. I didn't start this trend because before I was 21 my family had moved 10 times from my birth to age 21. We had moved at least three times before I was 4 years old. and the next 7 times were in Los Angeles and San Diego Counties in California.

So, moving was something the family did to have a different experience or to move to a better job or whatever. So, I continued this family process until I met my present wife at age 46 and remarried and had another daughter who is now in college. For me, looking back now it is amazing to me that I have been married over half my life now because I have been married at least 37 years of my life already in total.

I found I liked being a Dad and being married is helpful in raising your kids right. So, this likely is why I have been married so much of my life. However, this also is the second time I have had to face "The Empty Nest Syndrome" which is a tough one for parents (especially if that is your primary identity (the way you see yourself) in your life.

I noticed this Christmas vacation that most kids that went away to college (friends of my youngest daughter) looked kind of "blown away" by their college experience or coming back for Christmas or both (probably both). This makes sense because college is sort of an "out of body" experience unless you have a job in the real world or are living at home with your parents. (IN other words having some useful reality to ground you into reality in some way. College is just so theoretical in so many ways.

Will you actually use what you are studying ever?

That of course depends upon what you are studying.

If you are there because your parents have told you you have to be there, then you might not benefit from it very much.

However, if your heart burns to learn what you are actually learning about then you might find college useful.

Either way 20 years is a long time to be married to anyone, especially after all your kids have moved away to college or careers.

However, I find New Years Eve and Day sort of a weird experience anyway. Especially because anything after 1973 for me sort of seems like living in the future. (I grew up during the 1950s and 1960s and was 21 in 1969.