Flying under the Radar

I wasn't raised in such a way that trusting people was a part of my life growing up. I hated public school with a passion. And yet, I wasn't a disobedient student. Instead I was always very polite and helpful to teachers even when I absolutely hated my teachers that were physically and psychologically abusing children in the public schools I attended. People in my own grade didn't usually try to beat me up because usually I was a head taller than most people in my grade. So, mostly people in my own grade left me alone for the most part. I wasn't disturbed enough to start fights or to be a bully. I had no need for that because I had a very happy home life with my father, mother and grandmother living there with us. So, things were okay. But, I hated school even though I loved to learn and sometimes I liked to write, spell, and study history. I started to write a lot more after my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Krell, read some of my writings in front of the class. I was mostly shy then because my father and one of my cousins had teased me a lot from age zero to about age 4. So, I didn't trust people that much for this reason too.

Some people like my wife take a different attitude which is like: I will bring the very best out of people by expecting the best out of them.

My attitude growing up was exactly: Show me who you are. I don't trust you because people I have met my age haven't been trustworthy for the most part.

So, my attitude was then very guarded sort of like being a policeman or soldier. Not afraid but always ready to take someone out if I have to. This was the way boys were taught to be in the 1950s. You always are ready to take someone out if you need to. However, as a teenager or adult it mostly just means not smiling and just standing there saying nothing which scared the hell out of a lot of people if you are 6 foot 5 inches like me.

However, if people start to get scared you reassure them with kind gentlemanly talk. But, under it you are always ready for anything anytime or anywhere.

This was what it was like to be raised in the 1950s. They gave you a rifle at age 8 with bullets and let you keep the rifle and bullets in your room because you were trusted now to protect the family from strangers who might cause the family harm. This was how it really was even in Glendale where I grew up then in Los Angeles. I was given the rifle by my grandmother who was raised in Texas. I think she was born in the 1870s or 1880s when children older than 4 were often given a pistol or more likely a rifle to protect their families then from anyone who wasn't nice or from animals like rattlesnakes, cougars, bears, or whatever was causing a problem including humans. This was what it was really like to be raised in the 1950s if you were a boy and middle Class.