IF you hate yourself the likelihood is that you are going to hate others too even more. So, learning how to be kind to yourself is the key to a happy life and a long and healthy one. So, discovering this is important for everyone who makes it beyond about 25 or 30 years of age.
It's not that you won't defend yourself from others harming you, it's just that if you are kind to yourself you likely won't be the one initiating the harm but only defending yourself in any way you have to to survive along with your family.
Getting beyond self hate is the thing. Often there are crazy people in your life or family while you are growing up and you have to find a way to survive them at least until you are 15 or 20 years of age first.
Then by Age 18 or 20 you can begin to work on yourself and trying to get a handle on your issues. When Benjamin Franklin coined "Healthy, Wealthy and Wise" it wasn't just physical health he was referring to it was every aspect of health including mental health.
So, coming to peace with yourself is one of only ways to live to 30 and beyond.
My 20s were one of the worst times of my life because I had it too easy growing up. So, when I hit 21 I hit situations that caused me to really question whether I wanted to be alive anymore after I broke up with someone (looking back it was breaking up with two or more someones) I really loved. But, at the time this was way to complicated for me to have understood at the time emotionally at least.
So, my 20s were almost the end of my life. However, after hitting a wall I learned who I had been created as would be dead by 25. So, I realized I would have to re-create myself and redesign myself for survival in the real world. And so I did.
By Age 32 I had been successful and had a chance then to raise my kids and to live a long life which I have already into my late 60s.
Often our parents mean well like mine did. However, then I had to redesign myself for a different time than they grew up in. They grew up in the 1920s and 1930s. My father was 18 in 1934 and my mother was 18 in 1936 or 1937. So, they grew up during the Great Depression and the Roaring 20s. The world changed so much during that time by after World War II people were just very different because of all the horrors they had witnessed in their lives combined with all the technological progress and cultural changes. So, by the time I was a teenager in the 1960s, my generation was very different from the previous one because of all the many changes.
For example, my mother's phrase (which was how people survived the Great Depression and World War II was) "Do what you can and the rest Can" which meant do what you can to move forward in your life and stuff the rest down deep.
However, starting in the 1950s people started (especially the upper class) to go to psychologists and psychiatrists so many people stopped repressing things and getting cancer and going crazy so much like they had in the past.
So, Pop psychology especially became a part of the culture and people were not asked to carry unnatural guilt for things they weren't even responsible for anymore. This Freed people in amazing ways during the 1960s and 1970s and many less people then went crazy and died. So, people stopped blaming all their problems on God and religion and started taking responsibility for healing themselves multi-generationally. So, it became less about religion and pride and more about Self-unfoldment and discovering where you really wanted to be physically on earth and psychologically.
This then, prevented Nuclear Holocaust when enough of my generation worldwide moved forward, got educated and explored new ways to solve our problems worldwide. This has worked so far, at least.
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