I didn't really know there was a name for it until I started studying Tibetan Buddhism in my late 20s and early 30s.
But, as a young man I tried to plan the next 20 years of my life and found this to be a complete failure because the girl I intended to marry for this plan and I broke up.
So, I realized that killing myself wasn't going to help things and so I realized I just don't deal with disappointment very well at all and that if I wanted to stay alive the rest of my 20s that I had to live more spontaneously. So, about 25 girlfriends later I got married at age 26 and had a son. But, this wasn't really planned for a long time it sort of happened. Most things in my life just sort of happened.
When I was about 27 years old I stopped getting so angry when things didn't go the way I thought they should go when I noticed that God was changing my life in different ways that I wanted him to. But, I also saw how he was leading me to a much different life than I ever would have considered 10 years before.
As a young boy in the 1950s I expected to suffer and die a lot more in life. I saw people in the 1950s mostly suffering terribly and dying like flies all the time.
But then in the late 1960s I started to meet college students who chose not to suffer and die like most people seemed to in their lives. So, I realized life could be fun and not just such a drudgery that you wanted to die all the time.
So, I developed this philosophy of living in the most beautiful places that I wanted to and meeting beautiful people and hanging out with them. Then I realized I could be happier than about 90% of the people on earth by doing this. So, I lived where I could ski in the winter (like Mt. Shasta) and hung out with friends who loved Mt. Shasta as a spiritual mountain like I did and met people from all over the world like this, and eventually traveled to India and Nepal and Thailand and Japan for 4 months in 1985 and 1986 along with my older children who were 10 to 14 years old then.
So, instead of life being such a drudge that I would have wanted to die rather than to live it that way my life became much more fun than most people's lives on earth and a God Manifestation of
Spontaneous Accomplishment which helped me become more enlightened through the Yoga of being a Householder Yogi. So, basically I found a way to become enlightened while actually having fun doing it. And as a result I didn't die of drudgery and boredom before my time like many people I grew up with and instead am still amazingly happy even now at 72 with my wife and family and friends.
So, it isn't necessary to make your life so much suffering that you wish you were dead. There are ways to live to find happiness in amazing ways throughout your life. You just have to choose a life you can actually stand to live and not try to live what other people want for you but what You want to do with your own life instead.
You can't really please anyone but yourself in the end. So, if you are trying to please others all your life you are usually just going to suffer and die.
It's not that I also don't try to please family and friends, it's just that I also realize if I don't please myself too I'll be dead soon.
by God's Grace
No comments:
Post a Comment