When I first began to write it was to cope with my cousins death who was 16 in a car accident. It was because I was an only child and in the 1950s often you couldn't talk to your parents about things that bothered you. Psychology wasn't in full swing in Middle Class lives yet. Only the richest of people could afford counseling. So, I wrote to try to understand death and my nearness to death because my male 16 year old cousin had died. I think I was able to help myself through this so this is when I first learned Self Parenting even though I didn't have a word for it then.
The next time death affected me was when President Kennedy died and in High School Gym class I was 15 I heard some rumor that the president of Mexico had been assassinated (because who would believe president Kennedy was dead?)
So, the next class as a sophomore in High school was English class with Mrs. Barr who was about 26 years old and very lovely, I saw some of the girls crying in the back of class. Mrs. Barr counseled us all and let the girls cry during class. She didn't make us all sit in our seats because she knew many of us were scared.
It scared me too but in a different way than the girls. It scared me that I might die a virgin because if President Kennedy could die I could die too. Looking back now this seems silly and humorous but then it was deadly serious to me.
To make matters worse we were in the Cold War so we all felt not only was Kennedy dead but the nukes would soon be flying and we all would be dead.
So, once again I wrote to calm myself and to make myself at peace again. I didn't talk to much about what I was feeling because there was no appropriate place to put my feelings then in 1963 when I was 15.
In college I eventually found a Psychology today Magazine while attending Palomar College in 1971 in San Marcos in San Diego County California.
This changed my life because I began to understand myself in a different context than before by studying psychology.
Basically if you can't feel your feelings you might die. IF you stuff your feelings you might die.
These were some of the first things I learned through studying psychology. I had watched in real life people stuffing their feelings or denying their feelings dying right and left, especially in the 1950s when so many people died of PTSD from World War II and many women died who lost their husbands in world war II then too.
So, writing about healing yourself from the traumas of your life might also heal others too along the way.
Because we all aren't as different as you might think. You might think you are completely unique but even if you are an individual other people are having similar experiences to you and when you write this might help them because they might not be writers like you are and not able to properly express their feelings and emotions properly to survive them.
So, healing your traumas and often laughing at yourself if you can might keep you alive for your friends and family through to old age after having a good life.
There are always stretches in each of our lives that are very difficult. However, I have found that often if you tough it out things might get better like they eventually did for me especially in my 30s when I was very happy until my father died. Then after I almost died at 50 I was pretty happy after that too ever since.
Sharing your experiences with others often saves their lives and writing about your experiences might save your life too.
By God's Grace
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