healing myself

 I think the first time I really started to heal myself from childhood and young adult traumas I was around 21 years old and I was taking Philosophy Courses at Palomar College in San Marcos California which is between Escondido and Oceanside, California. Somehow I could relate to all the philosophers especially the early Greek ones like Plato and Aristotle and Socrates and more recent ones like Descartes of France.

Because I was 21 I wasn't afraid to speak up in a college class anymore and so I often commented on everything I was interested in and sharing experiences that validated what Philosophers had said. As. result I was an A Student in these Classes.

While at Palomar college in between classes I was reading in the library and found a publication called "Psychology Today" and started reading it and it was a revelation to me because my family (my father and mother had never been to college). However, my father had been to trade school to become an electrician and Electrical Contractor instead.

But, what I learned about psychology showed me why I was having problems because about 90% of my conditioning was driving me towards suicide.

I'm a very loyal person once i have given my loyalty but if what you are loyal to doesn't really serve you and keep you alive past 25 then you have to dump it if it isn't keeping you alive.

So, reading articles in psychology today magazine I realized all this and I started to redesign myself for ongoing survival as a human being here on earth in a way that I wouldn't have to self destruct by age 25.

I know this might be hard to fathom today in 2026 but you do have to realize this was likely around 1970 where people were very different than now and the Viet Nam War was still going on.

So, this is how i began healing myself and redesigning myself so I could have a good life and actually want to be alive and have a great time in my life.

By God's Grace