Otherwise, how are you going to stay alive? For example, when I married my present wife in 1995 I was 47 years old and we had gone together for about a year by then. But, I knew what I didn't want in a relationship better than what I did want in a relationship. However, the first 5 minutes I met her I knew if it could work out I could be happy with her the rest of my life.
She was 40 and I was 47 when we married at the Chapel in Yosemite Valley and we have been happy ever since. But, in order for this to work I had to know myself and to understand her or else it wouldn't have worked at all. Knowing yourself and knowing the person you want to be with is important for your relationship to work because all people keep changing and unless you are best friends first it might not last. A sexual relationship (no matter how sexually compatible you are) is NOT ENOUGH for 20 years or more or even 10 years usually. You have to be best friends and to have each other's backs to go the distance.
This is why knowing what you believe and what you don't believe and talking about that with who you are with is important in order for you to stay together. Without real Trust in a relationship you have nothing.
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