There have been studies done on different species staying together to raise their young. The primary reason found for this is children tend to survive better and longer in almost any species where the father is there to protect the children. This isn't just during the birthing process but throughout the child of any species' life.
In my own life I have been married three times. Once for 3 years (married three living together 4) then I was a single father at age 29 after having gotten married at 26 and started living together at 25.
Second time I was 32 after raising my son alone from age 29 to a lady with 2 kids from her previous marriage with one new daugther we both had together in addition to raising my son and her two kids. When the oldest of the kids left we couldn't deal with that and then another left and this basically helped break us up because we were staying together for the kids anyway. So, even though the first 7 years of that relationship ages 32 to 39 were probably the happiest of my life thus far, the next 7 years from about age 37 to to 39 to my early 40s were the most lonely and unhappy. How to you account fo that?
However, the happiest time of my life has been since I married a 3 rd time and then almost died from a heart virus. So, from age 50 to now (I was 50 in 1998) have been the happiest time of my life.
I'm not sure how to explain that either except by the Grace of God. But, it is true that the happiest most people ever get is over 50 if they get to live that long somewhere on earth.
Marriage is not a natural state for men. So, it is hard to make it work for men. That's not to say that marriage is a natural state for women either but they often seem to make it work better for them than men to generally speaking.
I came to the conclusion in my 20s that I might have to be married to raise children because I always saw myself as a father even though I didn't necessarily ever see myself happily married ever.
But, what being married was for me growing up and what it became from my generation onward I could live with much better than what I saw growing up around me.
I think trying out who you are going to be with to see if you are sexually and living wise compatible is very important because some women won't show their true colors until you marry them and by then it is too late.
However, the same might be said for some men too. For example, there are families where the men are raised to be married and to always have affairs by their fathers. I never thought this was a good idea because I saw all the alcoholic women married to these men crying and being messed up growing up in the 1950s which was very common then. My father wasn't unfaithful that I know of and he really wasn't the type to do that anyway.
So, it was in the families of my friends that I saw this and felt very sorry for the women going through this sort of thing in the 1950s and decided this wasn't a good thing for anyone while I was growing up.
So, all kinds of problems exist regarding marriage. The biggest problem I see is:
PEOPLE CHANGE- and not necessarily in the same directions. So, when you marry someone you both might be going in the same direction. But, that likely won't stay that way. So, both of you being happy living in the same place and doing the same things will likely change over time. And this is the first thing people don't think about when they get married.
The second thing is that every child coming into the relationship completely changes ALL the dynamics of that relationship. So, if you aren't ready for that then you are out of luck.
So, unless you really like riding on a lifetime of roller coasters you might not want to get married. Because it is a never ending adventure to say the least. And at some point you just might scream "Let me off this ride!" because you have just had enough.
But, that's marriage, "A never ending terrifying adventure that you never expected in the first place." Good luck!
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