Compartmentalization?

Men tend to compartmentalize their lives. This is a truism. Whether it is still true enough or not I'm not sure anymore.

However, I found myself doing this for my life.

For example, zero to 5 is a compartment
5 to 12 is a compartment
13 to 19 is a compartment
21 to 25 is a compartment
26 to 29 is a compartment
30 to 39
40 to 49
50 to 59
etc. etc. etc.

The reason one does this is life can get very messy in various ways because of jobs you have businesses you start marriages that begin and end, schools you graduate from, parents that change and are gone, relationships of all kinds that come and go etc. etc. etc.

So, for a man often you will compartmentalize your life into separate rooms so to speak in your mind because all at once it is just too confusing to deal with all the things that happen, all the people that die, all the people that come and go, and all the people you tend to be yourself over the course of a lifetime.

For me, when I look back at my life I can basically say to you that I am sort of the same person that I was at age 10 but with layers and layers of mental and physical armor to get me through literally everything in my life including my relationships with Angels and God as well.

But, ever since my appendix exploded and a week later was operated on once we knew what it was all my compartments to life went away.

Though I have found it overwhelming I also find I'm a lot less angry without compartments. Without compartments it' like my parents never died, it's like I never grew up or am still growing up, it's like I have just been born, because everything is all equally real to me right now.

Tonight, I found myself at a loss at how I should actually perceive myself and couldn't decide which combination of things I should be tonight. So, I called my wife and youngest daughter who were watching the original mad Max Movies tonight with Mel Gibson from way back and told her to just talk to me for a moment while I regrouped.

So then, I felt better thinking of myself as a married man and retired and felt a whole lot better about everything.

If you go through a traumatic experience like I did just prepare to go through a whole lot of changes both physical and psychological because often everything changes in ways you don't expect.

But, my recommendation is always "Don't panic if you are over 40 or 50". The reason for this is often panic just gives you a heart attack or stroke and then you are gone. So, remember, don't panic because it doesn't help. So just be practical and don't panic.