Enthusiasm and Boundaries

When you are young you have enthusiasm but this doesn't necessarily translate to success alone.

Those who successfully survive to 30 (in all ways) have started to develop "boundaries". Boundaries then channel your enthusiasm in useful directions for both you and your children.

The most important physical boundaries appear to be sexual ones.

Why?

Because without sexual boundaries your children will not be loved and cared for properly if you are having sex with too many women and either you and the women aren't using birth control. I remember in my early 30s talking with a friend who told me: "I am living with one woman and I got another woman pregnant. This is the worst mistake I ever made in my life."

At this point the child obviously is grown up and they have a great relationship but this was then not now.

And I see this in many people's lives.

Do I have children I don't know about?

It is possible for almost any of us who have had relationships with women we no longer know.

I can always say, "None that I know of" which is what most men might be able to say too.

So, in the end sexual boundaries make sure your children all grow up to know you and be raised by you and have the joy of having two biological parents that love them and help them grow to maturity.

I consider boundaries to be an important thing on a physical level. There is what you think and feel and then there is what you physically do.

Physical boundaries seem to be the most important in life.

We all have fantasies and you and your partner in life might have different fantasies at different times.

So, being faithful is more about what you physically do with your bodies than anything else. I think separating physical boundaries from psychological boundaries might be important for people to separate.

For example, what you think isn't going to get anyone pregnant. But, what you do might. So, this is why physical sexual boundaries often make the difference between having children that grow up successful in life or whether they become dysfunctional and criminals in their lives.

On one level "It takes a Village" to raise children. But, that village usually starts with two mature loving parents who care about each other enough to stay together to properly raise their children.

And this doesn't always mean that they even keep living together or stay married. It can also mean that they move onto other partners, they just stay loyal to their children no matter what and try to stay in their children's lives in a positive way no matter what.

In life there is the ideal and then there is reality. In the end you have to deal with "The way life actually is" as opposed to some fantasy you believed as a child growing up.