How do I begin?
My present wife and I dated a lot of people (and I was married twice) before I met her in 1994.
I had gone to church and met a lady who asked me out to tea and I met my wife then who was a barrista working there at the time and I realized this lady was the nicest person I had ever met in my life.
I thought to myself: "I could live with this woman the rest of my life!" She isn't going to trigger my passive aggressive side like most women eventually do. That part of me is just not a nice person but I needed someone to be nice to me after all I had been through.
I was 46 and going through a really awful divorce that I didn't believe I was going to survive with a custody battle for my then 5 year old daughter with my ex.
One of the things that broke us up me was my father passing on. And I really was not ready for this. Also, he didn't have to die from Prostate cancer either because he just didn't have it removed in time to keep it from metasticizing to bone cancer. So, this was a major factor in breaking up my previous marriage right there from being upset with my Dad dying when he didn't have to. But, nothing I likely could have said to him would have stopped him from his macrobiotic diet instead of having his prostate removed so I watched him die for 5 years when he didn't have to die and then he was gone and it was awful.
So, anyway, I met my present wife in 1994 31 years ago likely in October but it took her 2 months to agree to Date me starting on December 1st 1994. I just knew she was the one I could grow old and die with and I was already 46 and had dated many many girls and women since I was 15 years old.
We all change as we grow older but sometimes our needs are the same. We just need someone to be kind to us so we can be kind to them. Many women whether they understand this or not are raised to torture men to death. I think it is historical in that the power of the two is often skewed by history of the War between Men and Women for thousands of years. It has never been a fair fight ever because men are physically stronger often but no man is as strong emotionally as most women are naturally.
Men are usually much more emotionally brittle than women and if a woman hurts a man with words often that man retaliates in ways not good for anyone.
I guess what I'm actually saying here is that most men are not suited to being in a useful long term relationship. They want to be because they are tired of being alone. But, are they ready for this?
No. Not usually. Even me I wasn't ready to settle down until my live in girlfriend got pregnant when I was 26 and she was I think 21 or 22. Then I was ready to settle down. But that didn't stop me from being a single father by the time I was 29 years old either.
The point is it takes a long time for men to grow up usually and very few men at all are prepared to settle down before around 25 or 26 except a few rare men.
Anyway, this present marriage that started with us dating in 1994 on December 1st has lasted (this relationship for 31 years and we were married in December of 1995 in Yosemite National park at the Chapel there and honeymooned in Hawaii on Oahu and Kauai which set the tone for the rest of our marriage. Because since we can afford it now we go to Hawaii once every year usually in the fall and now another couple joins us there because they like Hawaii and snorkeling there and traveling around there in a rental car too.
The point is: "Surviving here is a long term thing if you are lucky."
I was lucky enough to meet the woman I could stay with the rest of my life ever. But, it happened and we likely will be together until one of us passes on which is wonderful!
By God's Grace
Note we also have one child together and I have two other biological children and we adopted a girl who is now 40 years old too and our biological child and the adopted daughter and her family came to Christmas for a week with their spouses too which is nice.
My son was too ill to come for Christmas and his sister lives in Europe. However, we visited our Daughter lives in Europe in Austria in October for 3 weeks this year too. So, all is well with the world.
By God's Grace
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