When I was Young

I would like to write about how amazing it is to be a human being here on earth. It's not that there isn't a lot of suffering that always accompanies being a human. It's about what potential there is in each of us to make a difference not only in our own lives but in the lives of all that we meet and even walk by on the street or drive by in our cars, trucks or buses.

When I was young I had no choice but to give myself up to God. I fought God off in confusion like many boys do. But at a relatively young age first through whooping cough and then later through blunt trauma childhood epilepsy it was either God or death both times. So, at first I came to the Terror of God. I didn't want to give myself to something so unknowable as a concept that I didn't even understand really yet. So, first I gave myself in anger, because there simply was no logical way to go on without some way to cope.

Somewhere between age 15 and 16 I realized that if I was going to have to be "spiritual" to stay alive "Why not be joyful about it?" This one choice I found to be unbelievably powerful in both the short and the long run.

I had always been very spiritually gifted. At first I thought everyone was telepathic when I was 2. But then I found that even though everyone is potentially able to do this that most were scared off being this way by their parents, bullies of all ages, and only really strong people with family support in this stay telepathic throughout their lives. Most lose this gift through one kind of bad experience or another by the time they are 5 to 12 years of age.

So, after I had my first direct experience of invoking God directly into my body to live with me here on earth at first I was really scared about it. Because literally God lived in my body and still does as a Co-Creator of my life. What this meant was that I had gifts like a prophet out of the Old Testament and that God both blessed my life and periodically literally scared the hell out of me. This continued as God led me near my death on many occasions as he tested me for something greater than I could imagine at that age.

At age 17 I decided that my REAL career in life was that I would become fully enlightened, no matter what career I pursued for money. My parents (neither of whom had been to college) encouraged me to be "Whatever I wanted to be". I found this idea kind of overwhelming, especially because I had been raised blue collar by a very intuitive common sensible mother and an extremely intelligent father who resented his own father from not allowing him to go to college during the 1930s even when both his sisters college educations were paid for by his father. He never got over this as he had wanted to be an Electrical Engineer. Instead he became and Electrical Contractor like his father.

When I was 17 and wanted to become enlightened my concept of what enlightenment was limited by my then life experience. Also, people in the 1950s and 1960s were generally much more simplistic and less complicated in general than now. Most of the complexity of life in the U.S. began during the Viet Nam War when you, as a young man either were drafted and went off to war or you went to college for as long as you could. When all the young men not fighting and dying in Viet Nam went to college all the girls who had gotten good enough grades in school followed the boys to college. So, both boys and girls started churning out masters degrees and PHD's in unheard of numbers. At this point living in America got very very complicated. It wasn't that complicated before. But it has been since the Viet Nam War. Because all those boys and girls with B.A's , B.S's ,M.As, M.S's, and PHDs had children and encouraged them to do the same. Voila! America had changed from a simple people to a very very complex people with both good and bad results.

Meanwhile I was living in the San Diego area during college and went (after some courses at Glendale College where I grew up mostly) to Palomar College (which I loved) and some courses at San Diego State. And often in my free time I would visit a good friend at UCLA and another good friend at UCR.

One time when I was in the UCLA Library I remember reading about Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism. I was still a Christian Mystic and for that matter always will be. However, I am also very pragmatic and into "Whatever Works" which is a blue collar kind of pragmatism that is a very basic pioneer philosophy of life. In other words "Do whatever works to survive whatever you have to" while "Being as kind as you can to all beings and still surviving anything that comes". So, as a college student I began to see the logic to Buddhism. While most dualistic religions tended to not make as much logical sense when you studied them in detail, Buddhism, to a college student made complete logical sense. So, I began to incorporate aspects of Buddhist philosophy into my personal philosophy. However, at core I was still a dualist until I was about 32. It took a long time to be able to move out of my original comfort zone to evolve into a new comfort zone that instead of just encompassing me encompassed the whole universe at once. Getting to this level of realization is both infinitely compassionate and infinitely powerful at the same time. However, one must be able to do this and have peace about it to be infinitely powerful in this way. So, for most people this doesn't come instantly or overnight. However, for some very special beings this might come in an instant. This wasn't me. It took me 32 years to even to begin to reach infinite compassion and what accompanies it, the infinite power of infinite compassion.

As an intuitive the best way I can explain it is that all life in the universe watches each one of us all the time. And if we are literally helping all life the universe to live a better life and to suffer less, life takes note of us and gives us more and more power to help other beings everywhere. This is really how all life in the universe actually works. So when they talk in the Bible and say, "And the rocks cried out his name" talking about Jesus I can tell you this really happened and it still happens today. as you and I develop compassion for all life in the universe the rocks literally cry out our names too. It's been like this for thousands to millions of years already and I suspect it will be this way thousands to millions of years to come as well.