Talking to My Cousin

After going through Law School and becoming a lawyer all the way on Scholarship, my cousin became a very successful lawyer by his late 20s. He got married, had three kids and was on his way to a good life. He had decided to become a lawyer at age 12 and became a straight A student after deciding this from junior High through High School and through college. A very bright fellow. Since at the time we were both only children and lived in the same town, (Glendale) and since he was about 5 years ahead of me we became like brothers. We hunted together and hiked together and traveled with my parents to visit his and my grandparents in Seattle and Idaho where my Grandad and his had a mining claim that he lived on 6 months a year. So, my Dad and Mom and I and my cousin shared many adventures growing up together and as adults ongoing now since I was about 5 and he about 9 or 10 years of age.

Most of his kids and mine are now 36 years old or older (I have two daughters now 15 and 22 also), but all our older kids are about the same age.

At a barbeque at his home a few months ago he had asked me, "How did you survive being a victim all these years?" I knew what he meant but I said, "I never saw myself as a victim. I always manipulated every situation to my advantage at all times." He looked at me and said, "I guess if you refuse to be a victim then you are the winner."

Tonight for some reason I told him a true story I had never shared with him before. I said, "When I was in my early twenties I WAS a victim. But when I got suicidal I said to God, "If you don't show yourself to me I will kill myself within a few days." So, within a couple of days I found myself soul traveling out by the Orion Nebula and God appeared to me as a shimmering Rainbow energy cloud that wasn't male or female. I asked the cloud of electrical energy, "Did you create my soul?" The being said, "Yes." Then the being said, "I'm not the ultimate God of the universe but I did create your soul, so I guess that makes me your creator." At the time I thought that this was the closest I was going to get to ever meeting God. And meeting this being was so stupendous that I was like a moth to a flame. I was being incinerated by the being. There is a saying in the Bible that says "No man may see God and Live!" Well. I understand what this means because I experienced it first hand. I died right then and there. My physical body didn't die but my soul died and I was reborn as God changed me. I was explaining to my cousin that religion is for people who haven't died in the presence of God and who might still hurt themselves or others. Once you have "died" you are changed by God and you don't need religion because you have God instead and you begin to care not only for yourself but for all beings in the universe as is God's Will. I explained to my cousin that I stopped being a victim to Anyone when I met God. I was changed so not only would I not take my own life but I wouldn't take the life of anyone else either. If you meet God you realize experiencially that all life is your family. We all are the children of God. Everything and Everyone living is.