Saturday, May 23, 2020

What happens when people around you die?

I can speak to this being 72 mostly because most people that were my friends and relatives older than me are already dead.

With each death a part of you dies too with them and you feel it (at least this is my experience) with each close relative or friend that dies along the way. It's the same only lessened with famous people or royalty around the world that you identify with. The biggest problems for me came from the death of my father. The death of my mother was mitigated by her having senile dementia for 7 years so when she died I considered it a blessing to her when she passed away at 90 years old. She didn't even know who I was the last two years of her life or who my son was who actually cared for her until she had to be put for her own safety into a care facility after she almost burned down her home. She put a plastic bowl on the electric range while it was on and while the plastic caught fire and dripped onto the kitchen floor she prayed for about 12 hours watching it at the kitchen table. After this I realized she was a danger to herself and others and realized she was just too dangerous to ever leave alone ever again unsupervised.

So, death itself for me wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life, watching my mother fade away into senile dementia was the very worst thing I ever had to survive in my whole life. Because Senile dementia and Alzheimers are both fatal diseases. The doctors said without this she would have lived to be over 100 years old because she had great health other than this.

One feels diminished as a person as each person close to you dies. This is why I'm so grateful for my children and grandchildren because this helps to deal with the around 100 or more deaths I have had to endure of people close to me growing up and through my life so far.

By God's Grace

But, likely the best part of all this for me would be that I am much less phased by all this (the coronavirus) than people younger than me might be. Because I have already had to endure the passing of most people close to me especially since about 1990 and after.

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