Life was a struggle: Ages 21 to 50: After that not so much of a struggle

Except for childhood epilepsy, almost dying of whooping cough and surviving being raised in a mystical Christian Cult by my parents who were ministers (part time) in this cult, growing up wasn't that bad. (Until I hit 21 years of age and my whole life came apart.

Then it was an unbelievable struggle for me to even try to want to be alive anymore. So, the only way I managed it was realizing that I couldn't kill myself because I couldn't do this to my parents. After all, I was an only child. I was all they had.

So, at first I stayed alive for them and for my friends and for my girlfriends. And then a live in girlfriend got pregnant, we got married and I then had a son.

Everything changed!

Life was still a struggle but now it was a happy struggle until I was about 50 and got a heart virus and almost died for about 8 months. Then finally, my heart specialist said to me, "Hey. We found out what was wrong with your heart. You had a heart virus. Boy are you lucky most people die with this before they find out what it was! You might live to 80 or more now as your heart has healed itself!"

This was a lot to deal with after thinking I might die for 8 months and not being able to breathe and passing out a lot because I couldn't oxygenate my blood always. And beyond that, if I had panicked even once I would have died just like all the others with heart virus often do. So, meditation and ace inhibitors saved my life. Also, I had been raised a vegetarian until I was 32 and this also saved my life because I had the least clogged arteries and veins of anyone they had ever seen at STanford Medical near Stanford University then in 1998 in the Fall.

I had been forced to retire when everyone thought I was dying, so I had retired. So, life was less of a struggle then simply because we had decided for me to retire rather than try to keep working and just drop dead from it one day.

So, I have been retired since 1998 when I was 50 and I'm now 66. Not everyone can afford to do this but we could by God's Grace. While I thought I was dying I promised God that I would share all my experiences with him all my life if I survived. And so I have through this blog and an archive site at dragonofcompassion.com and one other that I started in 1999 that doesn't exist anymore.

So, I have been blogging now sharing about my experiences with God and spiritual experiences around the world because I promised God I would do this. So, I have kept my promise to him and he has kept his promise to be too. By the Grace of God!