While I was dying the last couple of years (up until June 2nd 2020 when I had a defibrillator pacemaker put in finally) my wife was pretty stressed out I guess. I found it sort of hard to stay alive for her and still be myself. I suppose dying (if I had been alone without a wife and children) would have made more sense to me in some ways).
But, if you have a family you are a unit especially if your family works for everyone like ours seems to.
There is a saying: "NO man is an island!" And I think this is true if you are connected in a positive way to your family (whether that is blood relatives or friends or whatever you have going on in your life).
So, I chose to have a defibrillator pacemaker put in last June and Medicare mostly paid for this which is why Medicare is amazingly wonderful if you can just live long enough to get it (50 to 64 is really rough for a lot of people you see). For example, I was paying 1800 a month for full medical coverage at age 64 by the way and many people cannot afford this and that's a shame because many die between 50 and 64 or go bankrupt because they just cannot afford health insurance during this time of their lives when they most need it usually. Luckily, my present wife insisted I get full health insurance coverage about 5 years before I turned 50 and almost died from a heart virus too.
Anyway, the point of this article is that when I got my heart pacemaker it was sort of like getting reincarnated in some ways in a younger body of about 10 or 20 years ago because I no longer had an irregular heartbeat and I no longer had 1/4 of my heart not beating right (on chamber) and so it was sort of like being an entirely new person when I would have died soon before.
In fact, my cardiologist said he was worried I was going to die before I got my pacemaker installed because the Coronavirus prevented me from getting it earlier. He told us this last fall 2020 several months after I had my pacemaker installed.
So, long about November after being really stressed that I was going to die since she is only 65 whereas I'm 73 now her back finally went out and then for about 6 months now her back and leg have been messed up. But, this isn't unusual when someone close to you almost dies or does die. At some point you have to either have a health ailment or go crazy from the stress. When I was going through an awful divorce in 1994 before I remarried in 1995 my counselor told me. "What's happening is real and it's better you get physically ill rather than go insane from your divorce."
Divorce is sort of like your mate dying in some ways. The grief is about the same if you were with this person over 6 months and my ex and I had been together for 14 years then so it was like she died as far as my experience went and it was like I died too and then had to reinvent myself in another marriage before my old self self destructed me completely.
Many people aren't capable of this level of adaptation but I have been so far. So, now I've been married about 27 years this time (somewhere around there) Since December of 1995 in Yosemite national Park at the Chapel there.
So, when one of you in a relationship almost dies or does die or you are getting a divorce some of the effects are the same. It's as if your life died and your children experience this too in their own way as well. So, have compassion for your children especially and stay close to them through all these things because in some ways they will always need you so you want to be there for your children and your significant other as well whenever you can manage it.
By God's Grace
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