Tuesday, March 29, 2022

We are all dying from the moment we are born

 In some ways we are all dying from the moment we are conceived too.

I used to hate this way of looking at things.

However, I found it useful after almost dying for about 9 months in 1998 and 1999. Why?

Because when my father passed away in 1985 in the summer I was 37 years old and for some reason this threw me into "Middle Aged Crazy".

My son said it best which is: "The ground starts coming up really fast in your late 30s".

It's like when we are born we first step out of the plane without parachutes and the air going by feels kind of good and the clouds are pretty and we are okay as long as we are treated okay by those around us.

Then by our 30s we start to notice that the ground is getting a lot closer and mortality is coming for us eventually.

Well. At age 37 when my father died it eventually a few years later helped cause my divorce at age 46 and luckily I remarried someone else a year later or so and this worked for me at the time.

I found myself unable to usefully deal with my father's death because he was always a much larger than life person and the "Life of the party" so to speak and valedictorian of his High school class and always the funniest and most interesting person in any room he was in.

So, when my father passed away I and my mother were completely unprepared for this outcome. So, I spent the next 13 years pretty messed up psychologically from my father's passing. I went from being the happiest in my life for the first 7 years of my 2nd marriage to the most unhappy I had ever been the next 7 years of that marriage because my father had died.

However, in 1998 and 1999 the doctors told me (when I had recovered) that I had had a heart virus and I was told I was very lucky because at that time most people died of this at least then.

I found myself in a new attitude after this near death experience and instead of worrying about dying I found myself instead being grateful for each moment I had left in life.

And that is pretty much where I have been ever since. By some miracle I was able to retire at 50 rather than die then (which is what would have happened if I hadn't retired then. And I found that being retired (after the initial 5 years adjustment period suited me.

Many people cannot ever retire because they identify with their professions so much. I never was like this. My profession in my own mind was supporting my family and being a father and a husband and business owner. 

So, for me, I was okay to retire so I could take even better care of my family than I could before.

So, for me, the fact that we are all dying the moment we are born or conceived isn't what is important to me.

What is important to me is each moment God gives me in the here and now to bless everyone here on earth as much as I can.

So, in some ways, almost dying has saved me ever since and put me in a constant state of Grace where I live with the angels every single day.

Of course the last couple of years have been hard on everyone but somehow I can focus on God and angels and keep going.

by God's Grace

So, though it's true we are all dying from the beginning, it's also true that we all live by the Grace of God each moment we have left.

By God's Grace

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