What Being a Father means to me

On Father's Day I decided to write a little of what being a father has meant in my life. When I became a father just after I had turned 26 it gave me a reason no to commit suicide directly or indirectly. Because of the way I was raised about taking responsibility "Like the Captain of a ship" growing up in the 1950s my life was no longer just my own. I now had a son and a wife to think about that had to come before anything else in my life. When I look back at this time in my life I was much more a boy than a man before my son was born. And after my son was born I knew I would move heaven and earth to make sure my son had a good life and that he wouldn't suffer in many of the ways I had in life growing up.

So, for me, having my son made me become the man that I am today. Going to college gave me better critical thinking skills so I was less taken advantage of in life and more a "Captain of my own destiny" at all times. But as far as defining me having my first child defined me in my own mind more than anything else. I saw myself as a warrior protecting my son and my wife from all comers whether they were friends, family or just people I met in life in passing. And because of this my son grew up relatively happy and strong until his mother and I divorced when he was 3. But then my son continued to define my life because I was given full custody of him. So when I was 29 I was a single father. This changed who I could date because I had to think of him and not of myself or my needs in order for his life to turn out right. So he once again defined that I wouldn't be going out with irresponsible floozies but only women that could potentially be a mother to my son. This refined my life in such a way that I was a much better man than I might have been if I had only been a bachelor during this time in my life.

So, in my life I became a real man by having a son because having him defined everything in my life after he was born when I was 26. Thanks son. You gave me integrity and self respect for myself and always made me respected by others. And best of all, you are the best son a man could have!