Panic Attacks

Do you know what a panic attack is?

It is a physiological change in a human being that often mimics what happens during a heart attack.

Though Panic Attacks are seldom fatal as you are experiencing them they feel fatal as you are going through them.

So, understanding what is happening physiologically to yourself might be useful if you ever have one.

I have had only one full on one around 1993 I believe. Likely it was caused by my wife being unfaithful to me without me being fully aware of it at the time while still being an intuitive like I have always been. In other words the best way to put this is I was an Intuitive in denial. ( I didn't want to believe my wife could do this to our relationship).

I think the way I would describe this is a terrified feeling that tends to originate below someone's conscious mind that is threatening their present life and existence and how they perceive themselves or want to perceive themselves.

Basically, you think you are dying and you start to prepare for death because it appears there is nothing left to do. Others might have different reactions but mine was simply pragmatic. In other words, "OH. I'm dying! I better get ready for it!"

Since I couldn't walk at the time I slipped out of bed and couldn't talk and basically crawled along the floor. My wife then got on the phone with our EMT son who was a fireman at that time. (Now he is a Fire Captain and married). I decided what I was experiencing was too horrific to endure so I crawled into the bathroom and turned the bathtub on and got in so I could maybe be soothed by this experience.

Was an Ambulance called by my wife? No. Did anyone come to comfort me. Maybe my 4 year old daughter who was worried about me. But, as I sat there in the bathtub not able to talk or be very coordinated physically and feeling my lips and face go numb, I had the first inklings that maybe I should get a divorce because this was ridiculous. Except what about my 4 year old daughter?

Lately, I have felt a minor version of this because my son came home from far away spent a week here sort of in jet lag and bogged down by his last life and trying to get divorce papers in order so he could marry again now. He's gone back home far away again. And I suppose his visit could be considered a successful business trip but no more. ( He's too far to drive to or to fly to at my age regularly). It makes sense why I feel this way because I never expected my son to live so very far away. And now, he is getting married and having a baby. But, he has a good job and is relatively happy with his life. So, why should this all bother me?

Logically, I can say to myself that everything is fine. But, emotionally it's not fine and I can deny that is not fine but that doesn't usually help. Lately my wife has been difficult for about the last 6 months because her knee likely needs surgery so she is in constant pain all the time and constantly has to take Advil to walk around and to work out at her Physical Therapy sessions. She had her MRI and her meniscus (the padding between the upper and lower knee is worn out) which made her even more unhappy and difficult to be around.

Normally, she is an incredibly happy optimist and very cheerful, conversational and intelligent. Also, she has three college degrees so it is great to talk to her about almost anything and she was valedictorian of her High School Class. But, since I'm dealing with my own health problems this on top of my own and my son moving away last year has taken things sort of over the top on some levels. So, I find my patience is having trouble keeping up with reality. So, it's right to say that I'm probably fighting off panic attacks because of all this.

It's great when you are young and in your 20s, 30s, and 40s, and think and do handle everything efficiently and effectively. But, there is a reason most people retire by 65 because emotionally life becomes much harder to deal with progressively. You might mentally be incredibly disciplined and ready for everything. However, as you get into your 50s, 60s and beyond emotionally often you can't stay at that incredibly emotionally disciplined level like you could at say 35 for example. And so if you try to be as disciplined as you were at 35 you might just have a panic attack so I'm just sort of preparing you for this as life moves forwards. If you are psychologically prepared for something like this to happen then you won't be caught with your pants down like I was in 1993 when I was 45.

Later note on March 1st 2014 : I discovered after I wrote this that my recent bout with this problem stemmed from taking heart medicine as heart medicines and asthma medicines can contribute to panic attacks. I found by starting to take sublingual B-12 vitamins (under the tongue and directly into the bloodstream) that you can buy from trader joe's 1000mcg or from Whole Foods 1000mcg or 5000mcg that this eliminated most of this issue for me along with being sure to take a B-complex tablet daily as well. However, if you are having actual real problems in your life causing these panic attacks you need to address the real problems because until you address the real problems likely your panic attacks might not stop. So, being realistic about whatever is going on in your life might be the most useful thing you can do both now and in the future for best ongoing results.