Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Enmeshment - Wikipedia

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Someone today at a restaurant was calling "Enmeshment" emotional incest 

and I didn't think that was a useful way to refer to it because "enmeshment" is never usually physically about sex it is about boundaries. For example, my mother was enmeshed with me in that she would share things with me in confidence that shouldn't have been shared with a child. For example, she told me how she tricked my father into having me and she told me about other relationships in her life besides my father before she married my father. This would be termed "enmeshment" where you share inappropriate things with your child. But, I think the words "Emotional incest" aren't even useful to describe the truth of what is happening there. Unless there actually was or is physical incest between people in the same family I don't think the word incest should be used at all.

However, she did have a point regarding how parents sometimes can be helicopter parents too involved in their children's lives especially after ages 18 to 26 years of age, and if the parents are wealthy enough to financially help their children this can also become very tricky for everyone involved.

Enmeshment - Wikipedia
Enmeshment is a concept introduced by Salvador Minuchin to describe families where personal boundaries are diffused, sub-systems undifferentiated, and over-concern for others leads to a loss of autonomous development.

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