It took me from 18 to 21 to let go of both Creationism and Darwinism

Why?

Because I was really upset at 18 when I went into Glendale College to realize that most of my fellow students were Darwinists in a Social Science Class I took because it was a required Course. I was so upset that I dropped out of college and worked for a year full time at the time. Also, my mother and father who were still lay mystical Christian ministers at the time (which means they also worked for a living outside of the church).

But, they couldn't afford an operation my mother needed because they didn't have health insurance (most people didn't then by the way)  so I worked to pay for it for a year after I left college temporarily.

But, it took me until I was 21 to actually deal with this personal dichotomy in a way that was actually useful to my ongoing survival. By 21 I finally came to terms with this in this way:

I realized that neither Creationism nor Darwinism was fully proven to me or to anyone else at that time and that I didn't need to believe in either theory until I had come to the point where I had deemed either beyond a theory to a Law at that point. So, I let both theories go in my life and moved on with my life. This also allowed me to do better in college after that too and to study Anthropology (especially Cultural Anthropology and Comparative Religion and Psychology and Philosophy). And doing this at the time saved my young life. Because neither of my parents had ever been to college even though my father was valedictorian of his High School Class but his father wouldn't let him go to college and in 1934 when he graduated High School his father made him work at his father's Electrical Contracting Business as an Electrician like his other two sons then.

So, my path to actually choose to stay alive came from giving up Creationism and Darwinism and studying psychology so I knew that I didn't have to buy into all sorts of stuff that my family did.

Instead I realized I could release about 90% of all that and just concentrate on staying alive for my own reasons instead of having all this weight kill me and end my young life.

So, first I had to release both Creationism and Darwinism to find a way to stay alive through all of this.

In the meantime my friends were often getting drafted or joining the military and shipping off to Viet Nam or Thailand in the U.S. Military. But, because I had had blunt Trauma Childhood epilepsy I was a 4F which just means I wouldn't be drafted unless our country's mainland was attacked.