Writing

Some people like to do art of various kinds or play music or write lyrics or prose or comedy as they find this heals them from the traumas of their lives.

When I grew up I found comfort first in playing music when my parents arranged for me to take piano lessons which I agreed with and took lessons from age 8 to 16 years of age. But, when my oldest cousin Bobby died at age 16 just after getting his driver's license by accidentally driving into a house with his friends in the car music wasn't enough to comfort me and bring me back to a semblance of normalcy in my life. It was then I started to write and doodle in a spiral notebook then. It's true sometimes in class all of us got tired of listening to the teacher and doodled in various ways in our spiral notebooks or on any scrap of paper around or some of the more destructive members of classes used knives to carve into their desks when no one was looking and usually people didn't report these people because they didn't want to be stabbed by them at recess or something like that. 

Before abortion many children who parents didn't want were tortured in various different ways by them and when they came to school they were dangerous to be around. This mostly is less true in public schools around the world now. But, it's also true that drugs have replaced kids being burned with hot cigarettes like they were by parents then too. So, just being crazy for all different sorts or reasons is more common now also than being tortured by their parents when they got pregnant at 12 or 14 or 15 when I grew up and women were forced to have and raise those babies no matter what then before abortions were legal here in the U.S by the 1970s at some point.

But, for me, back to the topic of writing, writing always sort of saved me through self analysis. I was always very intelligent and so I could figure out when I wrote and could put down in writing what was REALLY going on in my life inside me and around me. So, I wasn't confused like most children I knew were growing up. So, suicide wasn't my issue until I got to around 21 and things were not working for me in life and I didn't see how I was going to survive my 20s. But, I watched many children self destruct between ages 5 in school and 20 before the shit hit the fan for me in my life too. Violence in school was a lot more normal then too of kids going berserk from various real causes in their lives from parents breaking up to violence at home or from siblings etc.

Violence was just a normal thing we all dealt with more in the 1950s. It wasn't until after the Viet Nam war sometime that violence started to be repressed more by our culture. Repression isn't a good or healthy thing in many ways either but at least violence reduced a lot in the process even though it made everyone much more neurotic than they were before when I grew up.

When I grew up you knew more where you stood with everyone because they would tell you by what they said or did to you. So, you could be cussed out or hit at any given time by literally any adult and this was relatively acceptable or tolerated in society to some degree still then in the 1950s.

Now, everything is hidden a lot and so this often leaves children and adults guessing as to what is actually going on a lot of the time which is even more terrifying often than having someone haul off and hit you or stab you with a knife for no reason you could ever fathom ever.

But, at least people let you know what was wrong then even if it wasn't you that was the cause of anything at all.

But, to make this all a little more clear for you though my father was valedictorian of his Senior High School Class in 1934 his father would not allow him or his two brothers to go to college which pissed them all off a lot especially Dad. Instead he forced them to work for him in his Electrical Contracting business.

So, I was raised at first more blue collar until I was about 12 when my Father started an Electrical Contracting business and by the time Dad retired he was making about 30 dollars an hour in 1980 working for the Electrical Workers Union in San Diego. So, 30 dollars an hour is even now quite a lot of money in one's life. So, my life started changing a lot to a much better financial outlook starting when I was about 12. However, until I was 12 public school often was more like a horror movie than anything else.

However, it trained me to be a survivor where I "don't sweat the small stuff" even now in my life because of all I have already been through in life. The 1950s taught me to be a consummate survivor always. And for this I will always be grateful for the hard times before I was 12 to 15 or so in my life.

One of the reasons I survived my 20s I realize now is what I learned about life in the 1950s. When you have it too easy you have nothing to bounce off of and sometimes you cannot find direction in your life.

For me, being reactionary to everything was a very hard thing to get over. But, by my late 20s I learned to be "Soul Cause to my own experience" and to ignore what most people said or told me to do. I just went my own way that  I had figured out for myself instead.

By God's Grace