what is Self Parenting?

It is first realizing that your parents made serious mistakes when they conditioned you to be who you have become.

When I realized this my first reaction was to be angry with my parents. However, then I realized the damage done was not intentional and I could not blame them for their basic ignorance of what they had done to me accidentally. So, first of all I forgave them and continued to love them because they were sincere in everything they did.

Next, I began to reparent myself by calming my inner child. The problem is our adapted child which is like a child acting out by hurting others, becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol or sex or abuse or whatever they become addicted to to try to live with their traumas and hurts they experienced.

So, since I had basically been trained as a minister of my parents church I used that way of thinking about things to move forward in my life as a leader and not as a follower at all. I took responsibility for myself and my problems and didn't blame anyone else for them after that. 

I basically accepted my role as an adult and accepted that I would have to reparent myself to undo the damage done to me in my life.

I grew up starting seriously at around 25 or 26 years old and just kept becoming more and more responsible in every way ongoing in my life after that. Luckily, I did not have an addictive personality so Alcohol or Drugs were never a problem for me.

I suppose if I had an addiction it would be the women in my life always.

I always thought men were assholes growing up and never trusted them because some tried to kill me as a child. But, my father never hurt me and was always pretty kind to me and never beat me except with words. So, as a result I can take a lot of physical punishment from others but the wrong words said to me might set me off. So, I have to be careful around people bad mouthing me or I might hit them and they might never get up because I'm 6 foot 5 inches tall to begin with.

My father took me aside at age 12 and said, "Freddie. You are too big to ever get into a fight because if you get angry you are going to kill someone and no one is strong enough to stop you.

So, Freddie. You will ALWAYS have to be the adult in any room even though you are only 12 now (because I was already 5 foot 10 at age 12 and 6 foot 1 by age 15 and 6 foot 3 by 17 and 6 foot 5 by 22.

So, Self parenting became a part of healing myself so people couldn't get me angry enough to fight them.

I always had to be the adult in the room even if I was surrounded by Adult children. 

This self discipline also helped me in self parenting myself during my 20s and 30s and ever after too.

By God's Grace