LIfe is for the LIving

 What do I mean by this?

I had to learn to deal with this concept the most as I watched my mother die of Senile dementia. If I had been single I likely would have (like my father would have likely too) taken my mother out into the wilderness and shot her and then myself rather than to watch what happened to her. This would have been what people did in my family for thousands of years before now.

What stopped me?

I am a married man with children and even though my grandchildren all were born after my mother died in 2008 I had to "Take care of them and be the patriarch of my family ongoing". I couldn't "take care of my mother the way my father wanted AND take care of my family too.

So, "LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING" is the statement that tortured me in this state of honor where I had to "HONOR" my family over my mother. Why?

Because my mother had the fatal disease of Senile Dementia. So, if a relative of yours has senile dementia this is a fatal disease whether you want to accept this or not.  Because of this a relative with senile dementia is often fatal in this way for other members of their families, especially single ones worldwide. This has always been true. This is one reason why senior rest homes exist so less single relatives have to kill their relatives and then themselves out of family honor here in the U.S. and western world.

Something to think about.

When did my mother get senile dementia?

I think she was about 80 when I took her and my then 10 year old daughter to see where her mother and father came from near Glascow, Scotland. Her mother was from Clydebank and her father from Ayr, Scotland. She seemed okay there because she was visiting her families historical places. However, eventually I was supposed to meet up with my 25 year old son and his friend who had just gotten his bachelor's degree in Physics from UCSC in Santa Cruz. They were on a Eurail pass throughout  mainland Europe and had been traveling at least a month or more when we met up with them in Munich, Germany. When we landed in Munich my mother wasn't okay after this because of her friend from Church, Bruce who had been cut in two by German Machine gun fire in World War II at the Battle of the Bulge. So, when I rented a motor home in Munich, she never got out of the motor home for the week or two we had it while the rest of us saw the sights in Germany, Switzerland, Austria and Italy driving our 6 passenger motorhome that was a diesel 5 speed stick shift through all these countries. But, she never was right again after this trip. When we returned to London for a few days after returning the Motor home to Munich where I rented it for all of us she was strange and withdrew into herself watching British TV which sometimes is sort of like watching Grass grow outside your window compared to American TV at times. She wouldn't leave the hotel room or even change rooms when a better one was available. So, I made sure she ate food but she was a problem ever after Munich, Germany when we landed there from the jet from London, England. I just thought at the time that she was old and a little crazy or something. I didn't realize she had already moved into senile dementia. I didn't know about what is called "Transfer Trauma" which is when older people go places they have never been before and enter a state of Trauma and confusion. I didn't understand about any of this at the time. This was 1999 and then she almost burned down her apartment one night and we were forced by circumstance to put her in the best senile dementia facility in our county in California. She continued to live there until 2008. So, she was there from 2001 just after 9-11 until fall of 2008 before she passed away. By the time she passed away she didn't know who I was or any member of her family anymore. This was very sad for everyone who had to deal with this outcome.

So, "LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING" and someone with senile dementia in some ways is already dead. Thinking this way saved my own life through this "The WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE".

I'm still haunted by all of this today all these years later. Dealing with this level of insanity which can only result in death eventually is something I have always found impossible to live with. Hopefully, if you face this with a member of your family you can be helped with what I learned along the way.

By God's Grace