The Hereafter

My wife and two daughters and I were talking about going to see Clint Eastwood's new movie "Hereafter" and I said to my wife and daughters. Matt Damon's character reminds me a lot of myself. And my older daughter said, "No. He's troubled about his gifts." I said, "Yes. I stopped being so troubled about having gifts like this by the time I was about 30 to 32. The actual moment was when I walked into "The Thousand Buddhas Empowerment" by a Tibetan Lama in Ashland, Oregon in 1980. At that moment somehow the order of the whole universe stopped scaring me and everything I understood about life in the universe came into an order I could understand and relate to. Before this time I was busy trying to follow all the rules like a new driver of a car and trying way to hard not to injure myself or anyone else as a gifted soul traveler and just trying not to die out there in the universe with my gifts.

After this moment I began to understand the true order of the universe and why I was gifted and both the blessing and the responsibility of my gifts both to myself and all life in the universe. I was blessed by the Grace of God giving me these gifts and life was blessed that God continued to bless life through the gifts he had bestowed upon me. Both I and life were blessed by his Grace and I realized I really didn't need to be afraid anymore. I had already reached about 80% to 90%  of this point already through constantly reaching out and learning everything I could about being like I was so I would be a blessing to all, all the time. I reached out for spiritual teachers to direct me in good and useful ways to bless all mankind. And when I finally walked into that room for the "Thousand Buddhas Empowerment" it was a culmination of all my efforts and God's efforts on my behalf for all life in the universe and I understood the universe and I knew after that that whether I lived or died that everything was going to be okay and that everyone that was with me was going to be okay too. And that's they way it has been ever since. Sure. There are problems but the real terror of a soul was permanently gone. And I realized in that moment that Soul pain is the worst pain of all. Any physical pain is nothing to the pain of an anguished soul. So in that moment and all moments after I was free. In my soul I am Free!