Kids graduating: For Parents: a Reward or a punishment?

You've succeeded as a parent. One of your children graduated High School or College. Why do you feel punished? Even if you succeed it might feel like you are being punished. So, what is really the reward for having your kids graduate high school or college?

The reward has to be that they are going to have a better chance to survive whether they live with you or not. And if they live with you is THAT a reward or a punishment (usually both) if you have nice kids.

So, processing your kids (in your own mind) growing up Graduating (high school or college) and possibly moving away to some other location alone or with a significant other often feels like punishment to a parent. Or if they stay that might (on some levels feel like a punishment too).

So, one is left with if they survive and are okay (wherever they are or live or whatever they do) then you have succeeded and have bragging rights as a parent that you at the very least got your kid through school (high school or  college) and you have succeeded as a parent? Why doesn't it feel like success?

The main reason is to be a really good parent it was your life's work to raise your kids. There is nothing wrong with this life's work as it is a good one. However, then you are left often to live the rest of your life without your kids living around you because of their mate, their job, their circumstances, whatever. And this is what parents often have to do world wide.

I was thinking about people I know of (including historical relatives) who left Switzerland in 1720s and sailed to the U.S. never to see their parents or other relatives again. How wonderful or horrific for those parents to die without ever seeing their kids again? This has been going on down through time since humans existed on earth. After your kids are raised and gone people often haven't survived very long without their kids by their side. But, this has always been the human condition. Always.

So, if you feel abandoned by your kids graduating high school or college and moving on away from you to live somewhere else physically, join the club because this has already been going on for thousands and thousands of years already. Luckily we live in a country where more people and more every day have figured out how to stay alive and have fun even after their kids grew up and moved away. And that is why more and more of us every day are still alive at 100 or beyond.