Sunday, May 23, 2021

Having compassion for yourself allows you to make decisions that don't result in your death

 This might sound like a strange title and in some ways it is. But, I grew up in a very "Terminal Macho" world. So, for me, this was an important consideration. Most of my friends and male relatives were lucky to have survived to even 15 years old in the world I grew up in.

For me, I had another layer of whooping cough at age 2 and then a concussion by age 9 from rock climbing with my father. I remember clearly at the time throwing up after my concussion of falling about 8 feet onto the back of my head. This would have likely been around 1956 in Chilao park in the Los Angeles National Forest Area rock climbing with my father then. I think my father had been injured hunting with his father too when he was young because of the way he handled the situation. I was throwing up and barely able to stand or walk at all. He just said, "Get up!" and "Let's go!" At the time I thought he was just being mean but he actually was scared I might die and knew he couldn't get me out of there and in 1956 there were no helicopters to rescue you then yet even in the mountains next to Los Angeles and if there were it likely would have cost him a years wages to get me out of there because of where we were.

So, his response was to say: "Get up!" and "Let's go!" which I did while I was crying and throwing up from a concussion. So, I even climbed up the face of the cliff we had already come down to get back to the truck. The point was when I look back now: was that either I was going to die there or I was going to get out under my own power, one of the two.

So, even though I was crying and throwing up and everything didn't look right to me at all we made it somehow back to Dad's work Truck because he was an electrician back then and hadn't become an electrical contractor yet.

So, about a year or less later I started having night time seizures from falling and hitting the back of my head on a rock that day. But, he didn't take me to a doctor or tell my mother what had happened. Life was different back then and on some levels children were more expendable then too. But, somehow I survived the concussion and the seizures from ages 10 to 15 because I didn't want to die.

But, he did take me to a doctor for my seizures when I was about 12 or 13 several years later. This actually was convenient because doing this got me a 4F so I didn't get drafted and die in the Viet Nam war and my seizures ended finally at age 15 which I think is called Childhood Epilepsy which is the only kind you can grow out of when your cranium grows so it takes the pressure off your brain that causes seizures.

By God's Grace

The point of all this is not to be so terminal macho that you or your children die unnecessarily especially if you are a man or boy.

When I was 26 and my son was born I gave up rock climbing thousands of feet off the ground because I didn't want to die and leave my son without a father. A friend of mine I climbed with died from free climbing a couple of years after this decision. Good Decision so my son still has a Dad today now that I'm 73. He recently turned 47 and is married with a son of his own.

By God's Grace

No comments: