Marriage

Marriage is not a natural state of being for men and never has been. However, being a father is more natural and normal.

However, researchers in studying mammals have discovered that the main reason mammals especially, as well as other species like birds, choose a mate mostly biologically in order so their babies have a better chance to survive long term. It is thought that among humans this is also true.

So, though marriage is not a natural thing for men it might be more natural for women. However, men often marry so their children have a better chance at surviving to adulthood and after. So, this is the main motivation in many cases why men stay married. Another reason is if their life partner is also their best friend.

So, if you are a man or woman if you meet someone who is your best friend and you are sexually compatible and if you both have the finances to be together and both want to live (or choose to live) in the same place you might be with someone that can be a long term life partner which can be a very good thing if it works for both of you ongoing.

My experience of marriage has almost always been a little strange and strained. I was faithful to my 1st wife for the 4 years we were together because I thought that's what marriage was all about. However, when that ended I was very confused by the whole thing because I thought you should only be married once (this was 1977 and I was 29). So, I dated several women and because I was a single father I married a lady with two kids a year and two years older than my son who I was raising at the time (he was about 5 at this point and I had been raising him alone since he was 3) (I also had some help from my parents and friends). So, the 2nd time I got married my point of view was that I was marrying someone to be a mother to my son. (Which is both a good and a bad reason to be marrying someone). So, after about 15 years we broke up(about 7 years after my father had passed away).

Then, soon I married a lady who had lived with a couple of different guys who was 7 years younger than I and she was an only child like me with 3 college degrees and had been valedictorian of her private school high school class. So, she was the most adult kind of person I had ever dated and had very high morals much like the girls I had first dated in my church. So, we became best friends and eventually married and had a daughter. My youngest daughter is just about to graduate high school now.

So, though marriage is not a natural state for men it is necessary to raise your kids to keep them alive to adulthood and into college. The other thing about kids is I now have an almost 40 year old son and if you are a good parent they are always your babies and you always are there for them their whole lives as long as you are alive. This is how families and individuals have always prospered and survived for thousands and thousands of years.