Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Climate Change Humor: Who knew Climate Deniers were so powerful?

Who knew we Climate Deniers were so powerful?

Tremble at our feet you puny, insignificant humans!
We are the Climate Deniers!
We have the power to raise the temperature and make you sweaty!
Our mighty breath so hot, we can melt ice caps with a single puff!
We are the Climate Deniers!
Able to leap back in time and create this thing called “summer.”
Yes, we are the masters of the weather.
And no mere mortal can stop us from ushering the world into the month of July!
You know, there is nothing more pathetic than a grown woman who has no understanding of changing seasons.
But apparently Bette Midler – earth scientist that she is – believes that we Climate Deniers are so immensely powerful that our very existence increases the temperature of the earth.
In fact, here in Syracuse, the record high temperature for July 3rd occurred when I was just three years old.
That’s how friggin’ powerful this Climate Denier is.
I raised the temperature in Syracuse at the tender age of three.
Imagine the vastness of my power now that I am fifty-five.
But Bette, like most Leftists, believes history began five minutes ago.
So this strange phenomenon called “summer” is totally new to her.
And in her backward, memory-deprived state, Bette Midler actually thinks the very existence of Climate Deniers has so enraged the Climate Gods that they are punishing the earth with this thing called “summer heat.”
There’s a reason I call these Climate Change Cultists “primitives.”
If you recall, after going a decade without a significant hurricane, these Climate Change cultists told us the lack of hurricanes prove that Man-made Climate Change is real.
Whereas I look at that long spell without hurricanes as proof that weather is unpredictable.
And hey. I live in Central New York – the region with the most unpredictable weather ever. I got that memo when I was a wee lass.
These Climate Change Cultists are starting to sound like primitives living on a tropical island who routinely sacrifice a virgin to placate the gods of the sea.
They simultaneously believe that man is nothing but a parasite on this earth who is so all-powerful he can cause, halt or alter hurricanes.
In the Twenty-first Century – in an industrialized, advance culture like our own – there are people who think if we do the tribal dance of increased taxation and reusable grocery bags we will calm the wrathful oceans.
hurricanes
And they actually consider themselves “progressives.”
How hilarious is that?
It’s impossible to get through to them using logic or reason because for them, Man-Made Climate Change is not a scientific study. Instead it is a cult.
The irony here is Climate Deniers were never the ones who claimed to have power over the weather.
No.
That dubious honor belongs to Barack Hussein Obama who believed that we would look back on his primary victories as “the moment the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.”
But then again, if these Climate Change primitives believe in a man who can eradicate July, I guess it shouldn’t surprise us that they also believe mere humans like you and I have the power to bring July to a boil.
end quote from:
click on picture for source.
Who knew we Climate Deniers were so powerful?


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