Not everyone is suited for retirement. Many people are going to die right away or within a few years. Diagnosing which kind of person you are is a life or death decision often. I always knew I was okay retired as long as I was with a kind person who was my wife or girlfriend. If the person I was with was not kind this wouldn't work because I can be extremely passive aggressive and this could get serious. For example, if my wife drinks coffee at all this is difficult so I have to get her to drink Chai or Green Teas instead of coffee or else she will activate my passive aggressiveness if she gets into what I might call "Coffee Bitchiness". But, it is not a natural thing and only something that comes when she drinks coffee now.
I'm a very tolerant fellow but when my boundaries start to go up I can be difficult, and likely more difficult than most people because of who my father and grandfather were. But, luckily I was never physically abused by my parents or grandparents. If anything I was psychologically abused like almost everyone was in their lives at one point or another. So, for me, being physically beat up is not a big deal to me, what is a big deal is being "put down" because this is how my parents often controlled my behavior while I was growing up. So, I start to move into passive aggressive behavior at some point when triggered sufficiently. Understanding this because of Peer Counseling and regular Grief counseling I can compensate for this by telling my spouse or relative. "I'm done with being treated like this. You have to stop this now!" So, if you can be self aware to prevent this vicious cycle from beginning then you are ahead of the game.
If you just think you are a big tough man and can take anything like you did in junior High or High School this is a mistake. Because you are going to psychologically hurt someone or worse if you aren't self disciplined with all this. And this gets progressively worse in relations after you are retired when you might have too much time together. When one or both of you are working it's much different than when you live together 24 hours a day.
For example, my wife solves this problem by leaving and going shopping often for up to 6 hours a day so we don't spend too much time together. Especially after your kids grow up and leave this becomes worse because then you and your spouse become each other's children and if you are a husband who doesn't like being treated like someone under 15 you can appreciate fully what I'm saying here. So, you have to create good and useful boundaries with your spouse after retirement or empty nest stuff happens or your relationship will end.
So, don't let retirement kill your relationship with your significant other.
On top of all this you have to adjust to retirement yourself, separate from whatever is going on with your wife or kids.
So, think this through because it is your future after all. But, most of all remember take it "ONE day at a time!" Things are always changing in multiple ways so be ready to adapt to anything sort of like a Fireman or Fire Captain.
Being retired for me mostly resembles being a fireman or Fire Captain for my family. I mostly prepare to put out fires in my family or business. So, I have to be ready 24 hours a day for anything.
This is what being retired is like for me. If you aren't prepared for ANYTHING who will be?
No comments:
Post a Comment