Disappointment often kills or destroys young people

This nearly happened to me too. By my 30s I realized that unrealistic expectations combined with not having any hope at all kills or destroys (through drugs, alcohol or suicide) many young people.

But, it was a trial by fire for me to get to a more useful way of seeing all this.

At first, I realized after studying what suicides do to families where strings of suicides often are started by one person offing themselves, I realized I couldn't do this to my family to start a chain of suicides which could go on for 50 to 100 years in my family.

So, I basically decided to "Soldier on" and bite my lip and be self disciplined about the whole thing to protect my family even though I could not protect myself from wanting to be dead most of the time from age 21 to around age 25 when I met my first wife and we married and had a son. Then I had to give up selfish thoughts of suicide to take care of my wife and son. And that was the end of that (at least for me). So, for me, I'm a natural care giver. But, many other people aren't like me in this way.

For me, I mostly wanted to be a father and to raise my sons and daughters and that made sense to me.
Careers never made a lot of sense to me other than being ways to support my children and my wife and myself. So, supporting my family was my yoga in all this.

But, I also looked around me and watched how many I knew died or offed themselves directly or indirectly for various or many reasons.

And I saw how I was not the only one almost killed by the disappointments of my life.

It's pretty universal when you cannot get exactly what you want in life to consider suicide.

However, God and Life and the Universe are bigger than any concept or concepts you might have.

I find suicide for me is not going outside and watching the sky and hummingbirds and birds and animals. So, when I feel depressed I just walk outside my home or hotel wherever I am on earth and observe clouds and weather and animals and birds and people and mountains and the wind blowing etc.

This then takes me out of my inside (cave mind) of when we are inside of above ground caves (houses) and we walk out into nature and see life as it always was instead of what people have made it which often is just crazy instead of useful in many ways.

So, I overcome disappointments now at 71 just by going outside and watching the birds and clouds and people and the waves break on the ocean or walking into the forest and looking at trees and birds and deer.

Then life is real to me because in the end all houses we build are mostly fake caves that we have built to shield us from the weather mostly. That's all they really are, sophisticated permanent tents to shield us from the weather and from physical harm of various kinds.

So, don't forget to go outside and see nature in all it's most beautiful forms so you want to live even one more day in your life.

By God's Grace