Oblivion

I was trying to think of the primary state of consciousness that I was in while experiencing h1n1 this last weekend and I think "Oblivion" would be the best word. For me it came because my body told me I might die. Oblivion was my response to near death. What is this oblivion state of consciousness? The best way I can describe this would be to say "My mind no longer hurt from being human at all." Because I was past caring about anything.

Now, to be fair I could go to this ultimate healing place of voidness and oblivion inside all humans potentially only because my wife wasn't sick and could care for me, my finances were in order, my home is a good one and safe and my daughter was getting over her h1n1 bout though still too weak to go to school. If I hadn't had anyone to take care of me I might not be here writing about this for you now. This is a given.

So, it could be said that oblivion like this is a luxury available to those who have the resources to survive this. Because without "completely giving up" through oblivion I might not be here today.

I can't remember any viruses in the last 30 years at least that hit so hard so fast and just sneak up on a person like this one does,(And then you are down like a cadaver of someone who has been shot).

I think as families it might be important during this flu season to not get so run down through overwork or stress that you lessen your chances of survival if you get this thing. If you get it all you have is what is inside you because all desire for food ends until you are over it and that might be days or weeks or never.