Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Can I talk to you about this?

I'm from the 1950s when I was trained to just "Speak out" about anything in my life. However, now, if you have daughters that are growing up or starting to grow up often (to be polite) you have to ask them "Can I talk to you about this?" Personally, I find this very upsetting because it interferes with my directness and truth in the moment.

However, I have to think especially about my younger daughter's sensibilities. She is 21 but very intelligent but also very shy so she doesn't always want to talk about anything at all. So, I have to learn to be more respectful of her adulthood and feelings. So, I'm trying. I'm not sure how successful I'm going to be at this but at least I'm trying.

So, here is how the conversation might go, "Can I talk to you about this" (the answer often will be)

"NO. I want to talk to you later about this."

Because if you are in a public place especially your daughter (or son) might be sensitive about talking about some things. So, you have to give them the choice of where and when to talk about certain things. Otherwise, they are just going to give you either a respectful or hateful stare (one of the two) and not say anything to you and just be sort of angry about the whole thing.

So, if you actually want a solution to whatever you need to talk about you have to make sure they are actually okay with this conversation. However, if it is something serious that cannot wait then you likely just have to talk to them about it anyway. There are always emergencies. But, if they are not emergencies in the minds of both  people (or more) then that also could be a problem too.

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