Cultish thinking

Cultish thinking. I can speak to this problem a little because I was born into a cult that my parents belonged to and I joined another similar cult after I was excommunicated from the one I was born into.

I have been following the the news on the children of the polygamous cult in Texas. Though it might be obvious to most people what the problems of being raised in a cult are I thought I would share my personal experiences with these kinds of problems up close and personal. My parents cult did not believe in polygamy or marriage at any age, Thank God. No, the problems created by the cult I grew up in were much more subtle. However, just like this cult if your cult is too different than the "normal" life that most people around you live in the general culture you can't feel safe to talk about your religion around most people. This is isolating.

The effect this has had on my life is that because I tend to be a rugged individualist anyway and not a team player except within a family or a small group of friends this has caused a form of double isolation for me in my life. Even though I am not rigid in my thinking like people I grew up with in my cult and have traveled the world and met people of literally every major religion in their native countries I still am a very unique person even if I am home in America. Primarily, this was caused by being raised in a cult.

Being raised in any cult of any religion or group of religions is isolating both psychologically and physically. I remember hearing a story of my uncle and aunt who weren't members of my parents cult saying to my parents, "Why would you do that to your son. By making him so different than the average person, how can he ever have a normal life?" As an adult I can relate to these thoughts now.

However, there is always the flipside of this. Because of the way I was raised I joined science and religion and always believed in UFOs, Jesus, Saint Germain. I also believe in reincarnation as a way of becoming like Jesus and Saint Germain and that this was the way they too evolved into the powerful beings they are. It also moved me in a direction away from alcohol and alcoholism but in a way that would have happened anyway because my father's family is allergic to alcohol.

The strangeness for me was around (as a child) being a vegetarian, believing in reincarnation, Saint Germain, not wearing red or black and trying to wear the color of the day (usually in pastels) in shirts whenever I attended church. I didn't mind being a vegetarian or not wearing red or black but wearing the color of the day in my shirts seemed pretty stupid to me as a child. Also, I felt pretty left out because of being raised in Los Angeles with all these really great restaurants and not being able to eat anything so we never went except to places like Denny's where we could get grilled cheese sandwiches, baked potatoes, salads, and tomato or mushroom soup. This did make me feel very isolated, especially when my father said things like, "Everyone on earth is going to hell except for the 10,000 people in our religion worldwide". This scared the hell out of me and I think did a lot of semi permanent damage to my young perceptions. Even though the cult is now about 50,000 or more worldwide now this is still, I believe one of the strangest things psychologically to deal with in any cult worldwide.

The reason I say this caused semi permanent damage is that as an adult I have become very ecumenical. This means I embrace almost all philosophies and religions not only on earth but throughout the universe conceptually. I even give the prayer, "May all beings attain bliss and the cause of bliss. May all beings be free from suffering and the cause of suffering. may all beings never be without the supreme bliss that is free from all near and far all grasping and aversion." I do this in my mind any time I feel it and especially when I wake up in the morning or when I am going to sleep. I find it to be the single most powerful prayer along with "I am the resurrection and the life" with all beings in the universe in mind.

However, back to the thought of everyone going to hell except the 10,000. Even though I have become very ecumenical the fear caused by that concept laid upon a child has subliminally kept me more psychologically separate from most people than I think is very healthy.However, EACH OF US HAS TO DEAL AT SOME POINT WITH LIFE AS IT IS RATHER THAN WHAT WE WOULD LIKE IT TO BE.This last sentence says what is most critical about being a member of any cult. Because a cult tends to live the way they would like things to be which in reality they never are. This, when lived by a group of hundreds or thousands of people is like living constantly in a cartoon or movie and is extremely damaging to the individuals in the cult if they ever have to join the normal world outside. I was lucky. I went to public schools and only had to deal with the craziness of my cult whenever I went to church or youth camps during the summer or Yosemite or the beach or something like that. The rest of the time I could pretend to be normal. However, as an adult I joined a cult that was much more immersed in itself so that only about 1 to 4 hours a day I would be away from it. I found this too disorienting and left within a couple of years. I found that I am just too individualistic. I was asked to leave this cult because I considered saving someone from committing suicide more important than following the rules. I was told, "We can't have someone on the staff of our church who believes they have a direct contact with God." I was fine with this because I do have a direct contact with God, Jesus, Saint Germain and all the angels, and if you don't like that then I don't really want to know you anymore either.

So that was my personal experience with cults. Unfortunately or fortunately because of having been burnt twice by religion I gave up churches completely because of realizing that not only cults are like this but all churches. So no matter how large a church is(even billions) it still functions just like a cult just with more political power and authority. In the end we are all very alone with our beliefs if we want to stay alive and sane in this crazy mixed up world we live in.

I was lucky. I was able to do a survivable transition from a cult into everyday life. Even then I lived with constant thoughts of suicide when I was separated from the girl I wanted to marry and hundreds of friends worldwide when I was excommunicated from the cult I was raised in.

The children who have been removed from not only their cult but their mothers may not make it psychologically or physically. Their world and their future has ended. I would say only about 50% of those kids aged 3 to 10 years old now will be even psychologically ok. Society can live with itself. But these children's lives can only be viewed as over. Having been raised in a cult myself, unless the children in their heart of hearts find a way to reject what they were taught to believe and to reject their parents and relatives and even their friends still inside the cult, their lives are over. It would be kinder to execute the children and mothers than to put them through what they will all face now! I'm not advocating this. I'm just stating a hard truth!