I stay alive by the Grace of God

As white men my age die all around me starting in their 40s and 50s I look around me and say to myself "There but for the Grace of God Go I!"

At age 50 if God hadn't already put my present wife in my life I would have died then. She wouldn't let me die and I wouldn't let me die of a heart virus I had for 8 months and almost died from either. At one point I had to refuse to panic as I passed out over and over again because my heart couldn't oxygenate my blood enough to keep my conscious.

This is what kills most people who get heart viruses by the way, either their arteries are too clogged and they have a heart attack or they panic when they pass out which is fatal to do with a heart virus. If you panic when you pass out you die, very simple.

So, this is why I say I live "By the Grace of God!" because everyone else I knew of with a heart virus in 1998 and 1999 in California died and I lived then.

So, I live by the Grace of God and because he directed me to study with Tibetan Lamas in the 1980s who taught me a withdrawal meditation where I could remove myself from panic before it started and be at peace while I was passing out "possibly for the last time" each time. This is why I lived then.

When I went through a burst appendix I used this same technique often to live through my burst appendix and eventual hernia caused by the Laproscopic operation with little robot snakes that they put into you through fingertip sized holes they burn or drill in you.

So, I survived that from knowing how to stay calm even though I lived with PTSD of some sorts for several months and didn't believe I wasn't going to die completely for about 1 year after this.

So, trauma does have it's effects but now (outside of a hernia near my belly button slowly getting larger I'm okay.

So, once again "I live by the Grace of God" as I watch almost every other white man I know die from about their 40s or 50s onward. A few like my father in law live to 98 like he did until February though which helps me to believe I can still go on that long too maybe with all my marbles to the end and able to walk and travel and maybe even drive a car and fly in a plane.

By the Grace of God we all live or we all die.

Understanding this you can go through almost anything and survive it well maybe to 100 or beyond!