I feel my personal universe changing being near to where it all began around 1970

 The time between 1969 and 1973 set the tone of my life as an adult.

I was 21 in 1969 and 25 in 1973 and many things happened to me during these years as with most people.

I was also trying to find a way to stay alive during these years too because staying alive was not necessarily what I wanted then either. 

It wasn't about having girlfriends at all because I always had many girlfriends because I was tall and handsome and desirable to women. It was about me personally wanting to be alive for myself.

So, I had to have other people to stay alive for mostly and one of the reasons I would stay alive then was for whatever girlfriend I was going with at the time. I felt I owed her to stay alive for her even if I didn't really want to be alive myself.

As time moved on eventually one of my live in girlfriends got pregnant and we got married.

This actually was one of the best things that ever happened to me because I began to reduce the physical risks I was taking by stopping rock climbing with friends with pitons and ropes in places like Yosemite national Park. One of my friends died about this time who fell 300 feet so I realized this was a good idea to stop rope climbing or rock climbing or whatever you want to call it these days.

My life made sense to me until 1969. The world this year turned completely upside down for me rendering everything I thought I was going to be sort of ridiculous and pointless. I could explain all this to you but it still might not mean anything to you because these were my life experiences from birth and not yours. Also, even if you had had my life experiences you could have had a completely different reaction to everything that happened to you as well. So, this was my unique reaction to my personal experiences which likely would not be the same as anyone else's reaction.

Mostly I just needed even one useful reason to go on living and by age 26 I found this reason to go on living when my son was born in 1974. This gave me the reason I needed to take seriously being alive and making sure he grew up right. Eventually, he got his bachelor of Science Degree at a CSU in southern Califronia as well.

But, choosing to stay alive for me was mostly about my son being born and wanting to stay alive for him to be raised right. I didn't want him traumatized (at least in the ways the 1950s and 1960s traumatized me as a being growing up then.) I wanted something better for my son than what I had experienced growing up. This was an achievable goal that I set for myself and my son.