Sexual Desires

I was talking recently to a young man who was concerned about what he called, Lecherous feelings for women. Since he was in his late 20s it sort of made me laugh for someone this young to talk this way, especially after having lived through the 1960s and 1970s (I was 21 in 1969). However, I had to come to terms with the fact that he was serious about all this and kind of scared and then I realized this point of view likely was also some sort of generational thing. And I had to take into consideration he was also a handsome young man who would be very attractive to women at the very least into his 40s or 50s as I had had this experience as well.

So I said to him, "Well. It seems you have several choices if you are interested in being faithful to your girlfriend and possibly marrying her. The first thing is that you need to know is that all men who have normal sexual desires deal with this when they are trying to be faithful to anyone long term."

"When I first got married at age 26 because my live in girlfriend and I were pregnant and I had a son when I was 26, I got married so my son would have my name so being married was very important to me so my son would be protected."

Then I looked at him and realized though he was living with the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with he was still a young man and trying to deal with all this in as ethical way as possible.

So, I said, "Here are some of the ways married men deal with all this. First of all it is completely normal to have sexual feelings for women all the time that you see or meet. However, it is what you do with these feelings that is important. Some people simply repress these feelings and I have to think this likely shortens their lives but this is one thing many men do. Other men simply direct ALL their sexual feelings at their wife or wife to be and sometimes this results in a lot of children, while other men sublimate their feelings towards all women they are attracted to and try to direct them physically at only their wives. So, in this way they are able to stay married. Because usually when people aren't faithful to their wives, sooner or later someone finds out and that marriage tends to end sooner or later.

So, if you care about your pending marriage you have to think about this too. One of the ways I have dealt with this is to realize that everything creative people do is a redirection of procreative energies. All, art, building, thinking, spiritual activities is a natural redirection of the procreative force. So, no matter what you do: your job, your hobbies, your travel or whatever you do it tends to be a redirection of procreative forces. When you look at life in this way it is much easier to become successful in all ways, in your marriage, in your business, in your finances etc.

So, what I would say is not that you are having lecherous thoughts because lecherous thoughts would be a much older man above 40s or 50s coveting women while being married. Though this happens this certainly isn't you at your age.

So, I was sort of intrigued by the way he was thinking and it reminded me of all the thoughts and feelings I had as a younger man. And I hoped what I had said would help this idealistic young man in his future marriage and spiritual idealism forwards in his life.