Being a parent

When you are a parent of someone under age 12 I always found that my role (how I should act in any given situation) was more clearly defined. However, as one's children reach 13 and above it goes into what I might call the "Pushmepullyou" kind of situation where everything keeps changing a lot the rest of their lives.

If you are really lucky and raised your kids right you are able to move from them being children to them being adults with your relationship with them still fairly intact although different. Though I also have stepkids ages 40 and 39 I don't see them too much these days. So, mostly I see my biological kids who are 16, 23, and 38. A boy and two girls. My 16 year old is a teenager so everything is always changing and if you are the father of a teenage girl don't expect to be treated right or at all in any way you expect from the time they are about 13 to 15 at the very least. But right now my 16 year old has met a new boy and is Skypeing all the time so this is something new.

However, when my son filed for divorce he first went to Colorado for a few months to stay with friends and then he moved in with us while his divorce went through. Now he is divorced but recently saw his now ex-wife and felt kind of confused by the whole thing. I told him I had a relationship like this with my first wife where I found myself sort of to be her father in some ways. his relationship is something like that with his ex too. But he felt very confused by that. I suppose I did too when my first wife came back crying to me after I remarried and I had to sort of be nice to her because she realized she had made a very big mistake leaving me and marrying someone else.

But what is happening now is that my son is moving on in his life and I had to tell him that I was feeling a loss of him not living with us anymore and that I sort of had gotten emotionally dependent on him. And that even though I know he needs to move on in his life emotionally I'm having difficulties as I got used to him being here and us being support people to each other. So, I told him I might be passive aggressive sometimes while getting used to all the changes of him living somewhere else but I actually know this is the best for him to restart his life once again on his own.

So, as you can see being a parent in a way never ends if you are together enough in your life to continue a healthy relationship with your kids. It is never easy but it is always worthwhile for everyone.