Death and Impermanence

Impermanence simply means that something won't last forever. So, in this sense death and impermanence are the same thing in some ways.

One day soon after my wife's mother died in 1999 she was quiet all day long. Now, if you knew my wife she is one of the most talkative and intelligent people you will ever meet. But, for her to be quiet all day long like this I knew either something was up or something was wrong. So, because I was concerned for her well being I went and tried to talk to her.

I said, "Why aren't you talking today?" She said, "I see the whole world and all the good and all the bad and I just don't like it. I'm completely overwhelmed by my experience to the point where I can't talk much."

I said to her, "This is how the Tibetan Lamas that I studied with in the U.S. and India and Nepal described what enlightenment is."

She said, "Well. I hate it! I don't like it and I want it to stop!"

I said, "You don't have to like it but it is the way things actually are. You are experiencing a form of enlightenment by experiencing all the good and bad like this all at once."

She said again, "But I don't like it!"

And then I said once again, "You don't have to like enlightenment but you do have to recognize it for what it is. A person cannot make useful decisions without seeing all the good and bad at once. That's what enlightenment is!"

She finally said, "I guess so."

My wife has been a different person ever since that day in 1999 after her mother died. She has been amazing in a variety of ways as a human being and in her positive effects upon every single being she meets every day.