Writing has often been a way for me to understand life around me and myself. Often there is no one for you to have important conversations with when you are a child. Remember I grew up when children were to be "SEEN" and not "HEARD". So, sometimes who was I going to talk to as an only child. I talked to God or friends or a grandmother if one was there to talk with me. My parents when they weren't busy making money, running a church and keeping our family financially okay often would talk to me about anything when we were off somewhere for a day or a weekend. Then I could literally ask them anything which was good. But often, that meant 5/7ths of a week I was alone or almost alone with just my grandmother home in her own room to make sure I was okay or cooking in the kitchen. So, by 7, 8 or 9 I started writing trying to explain the world to myself in some way that made some sense to me.
When I went to a marriage counselor in my 2nd marriage a technique used where you put yourself as yourself or you talk like you are your wife to try to understand what she is experiencing was something I already was doing as a child trying to understand myself and people around me especially when they made crazy mistakes and crazy decisions and then they were dead. This happened a lot around my parents religion because they thought a lot like Christian Scientists who often won't go to doctors, so I watched a lot of people die because they wouldn't go to a doctor that didn't need to die.
So, often writing was a way to cope with the traumas of my life when I didn't have anyone else that I felt safe talking to about the traumas I was experiencing.
And if you keep your writings often things you didn't understand then you later understand because you are an experienced adult and the person who wrote what you are reading (you 5, 10 ,20 years before was only a child.
So, you then understand who you were and who you are and from that you get more what your life was about at every point and this often makes more sense of everything that is happening in your life and life then feels a little less crazy and a little more manageable so maybe you will go to college and start one or more businesses like I did along the way.
By God's Grace
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