Monday, April 2, 2012

Some People Can Deal with Reality Some Can't

When I grew up things were more difficult than now in many ways. There were people who were very miserably aware of how difficult life was and then there were people, usually wives and children who were sheltered by those who loved them. However, now things are different and more people (at least all the adults) deal with reality in a more pragmatic way, even though life is strange in a whole different way than it was in the 1950s. To make a long story short, more people live a whole lot longer and seem to, at the very least, suffer physically a whole lot less than before. However, that could be an appearance of reality because in the end I am only one person observing people around me as I move through my own life.

When I grew up in the 1950s kids were dying from Polio and other now preventable diseases. Even my best friend in Junior High and High School had to wear braces on his legs until he was 6 or 7 from polio. His arms were very strong to compensate and in Junior high school he set the timed record for the rope climb in Gym.  His arms were so strong that he didn't use his legs at all to reach the top.  His record stood for about 25 years after we graduated.

I think I became more of a realist than many of my friends because I almost died from Whooping cough as a very young kid and later thought  I likely was going to die from childhood epilepsy (Blunt trauma epilepsy) between the ages of 10 to 15. Needless to say, my best friend and I were much more serious about life than others of our friends and much more responsible throughout Junior High and High School. Many of our friends were doing crazy things and going to Honor camps (jail for teenagers) We never went to jail for anything, even for a night,  because we were always much more responsible that anyone we knew.

I think near death experiences, particularly if you believe you might die at any time over a period of weeks, months or years can make one become very realistic about life or completely disconnected from life. Luckily, it made me more realistic about what was possible and what wasn't on every level physical, mental and spiritual.

It is true that some people, because of really bad experiences during childhood or their twenties, are separated from reality, and join those people you see walking down the street talking to themselves or sitting on park benches talking to themselves because they have either just seen too many bad things happen or they had health issues to begin with or both.  In the fifties, anyone who was traumatized or different was at risk for institutionalization.  With the dismantling of our mental health care institutions, we see the walking wounded among us as never before.

Unless you face life, you don't ever really have a life worth living. Though it is true you can live with your parents until you are 40, I think that is a mistake in most cases. The Golden Window to create your own life is between the ages of 15 and 40. If you haven't established your own life by then, it is much less likely that you will ever have your own life. This has been my observation since I survived childhood epilepsy and tends to be most people's reality. I like to include all the do overs too, even if you start over  3 or more times, you are learning new things each time. Also,  just like starting a business, "you learn much more from your mistakes than you do your successes." It holds true in all aspects of life. Almost any one can live with success. But can you live with several failures before you succeed?

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